DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son and daughter-in-law hosted their first big formal dinner party for important business connections. They wanted to impress, and they only have basic daily dishes and nearly no serving pieces.
Not that what I have is all that special, but it is a little fancier than what they have, so they asked to borrow a set of plates, a platter, and two serving bowls.
The day after the party, they returned everything, and when I was putting it away, I noticed a sizeable chip out of the platter, which I know for certain was not there before. Neither my son nor my daughter-in-law mentioned it, and that bothered me more than the damage. It is not an expensive or irreplaceable piece, but it would have been nice for them to fess up to chipping it.
I am not one to make waves, but the more I think about it, the more I become convinced I need to say something. Is it worth it, or do I just let it go? --- CHIPPED
DEAR CHIPPED: Dishes get damaged, and it’s possible that your son and daughter-in-law either didn’t notice the chip after they used the platter or simply assumed it’d been there when you loaned it to them.
If clearing the air is what you feel you need to do, I think I’d approach the topic more as an inquiry than an accusation. That would allow them a chance to give their side of the story.
Depending on how things play out, you may have all the information you need to help decide if you’d be willing to lend out your plates again in the future; not to mention, you might also walk away with some ideas about what to give the couple for future gift-giving occasions.