life

Power Tumbling Competitions Are Too Hard for Grandmother to Watch

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 22nd, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My granddaughter has been doing gymnastics since she was five years old. Since early middle school she has been focusing on power tumbling, and has gotten good enough to compete at both the state and regional levels.

I’m thrilled that she does so well and is so talented and dedicated, but honest to God, I cannot stand going to the competitions. I don’t mind that they go on for so long, but I am a basket case every time my granddaughter does one of her routines. Over the years I’ve seen some of these girls get seriously hurt. Thankfully so far all my granddaughter and her teammates have suffered are minor injuries, but I guess I am the superstitious kind. I believe if you push your luck long and hard enough, something bad will happen.

I have told my son and daughter-in-law I just can’t do it any longer. They were not happy about it, but kind of understand. However, they won’t tell my granddaughter why I don’t want to go to any more of her competitions. They think my fear could be transferred to her and then she will get hurt.

How do I tell my granddaughter how I feel without planting fear? --- CAN’T WATCH THE TUMBLES

DEAR CAN’T WATCH THE TUMBLES: I’m guessing your granddaughter and her teammates are well aware of the dangers of their demanding sport. I also can see where her parents’ concerns regarding your sharing of your fears are coming from, and wouldn’t be surprised if they feel much the same as you do. However, they have less of a choice in the matter of attending the competitions.

Perhaps you could let your granddaughter know you aren’t available on the day of the next competition, but that you’re going to ask her parents to video her routine so you don’t miss out on it entirely. Her reaction might give you a hint as to whether or not your being there in person makes much of a difference to her. She may count on you as a key part of her cheering section, or it’s possible you learn she’s more than okay with your making it up to her by watching it from the comfort of your own home or hers.

Once you get a reading on her reaction, you’ll have something to go on in making a decision about attending future competitions in-person or not.

Family & ParentingPhysical Health
life

Frugal Company Expects Employees to Go Out-of-Pocket

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 21st, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve worked at a few different companies since I started in sales fulltime. Every other place I’ve been at has paid for business cards and at least some promotional items, like posters and flyers for public events I’m assigned to run.

Where I work now is different. They don’t pick up the cost for any of those things. Instead, sales staff gets a set salary, based on seniority, with a fairly small commission, dependent on companywide quarterly earnings, which wouldn’t be that bad if they also didn’t expect us to pay for items that help their bottom line.

I know I’m not the only one upset by this practice, and I can’t afford to leave the job this soon after starting it. Do you think this is any way to run a company? --- DON’T HAVE DEEP POCKETS

DEAR DON’T HAVE DEEP POCKETS: It may be that your new company is still operating in a business-not-as-usual mode if their bottom line has been compromised over the past year or so.

I would have guessed this non-reimbursable out-of-pocket expectation would have come up during your interview, but if it’s part of the job, it’s something you either have to live with or walk away from. As it sounds like you’re locked into the current job for a while, you could check into what, if any, of your layouts may be tax deductible to help take some of the bite out of the situation. And learn from this experience by remembering to include the “who provides what” conversation before taking any future jobs.

Work & School
life

LW Confused by Contact From Sister's Ex

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 19th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My sister was with her latest ex-boyfriend for only a couple months. They never seemed a good fit, and nobody was surprised when they split. She has since found someone who she seems much happier with.

During the short time they were together, I sometimes hung out with my sister and her ex. There seemed to be a little something there between him and me, although it was more joking around than flirty.

A few days ago I got a text from the guy asking if I wanted to go on a hike with him, which is something he enjoys, and my sister doesn’t. He knows I also like being outdoors, and we sometimes talked about taking on a local trail or two at some point.

The thing is, I am not 100 percent sure if this is his making a romantic or a friendship move. I also don’t know how my sister will take his reaching out to me, even though they were not a good fit and wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway.

Do I run this by my sister before I accept his offer? I also don’t want to be misreading anything, especially if it makes problems with my sister. I like this guy, but I love my sister. --- TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

DEAR TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL: To me, it seems the better option is to let your sister know her ex has been in touch with you. You can’t really be much more specific than that since you yourself aren’t sure if he’s looking for a hiking companion or a new girlfriend.

Hopefully, as your sister’s moved on, she’ll have no problems with her ex doing the same, if that’s indeed what he’s also working on. If romance isn’t what he’s after with you, then at least you acquire a buddy with whom you can share some outdoor adventures.

Love & Dating

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