life

Mom Worried About Son's Post-COVID Return to Campus

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 20th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son had COVID in March of this year. He contracted it while working at a restaurant. He did not have to be hospitalized, thank goodness, but he was down for nearly a month, and still gets tired more easily than he used to do.

He is scheduled to return to college in a couple of weeks, and I am a basket case thinking about everything that could go wrong with him and his health. He was on the track team before the shut-downs, and is planning to go out for it again this year. I just do not know if he is strong enough to handle this and a totally full class load, and a work-study job. I know plenty of kids do it all, but not too many of them are doing it as a COVID survivor.

My wish is that he would sit out the sports for the first semester, and focus on staying on top of his health and his classes, especially since I keep reading stories about the potentially lasting heart problems in young men who have had COVID.

How much should I try to discourage my son from getting back in the middle of a too hectic, too physically strenuous situation? --- COVID SURVIVOR’S MOM

DEAR COVID SURVIVOR’S MOM: I completely understand your concern. This is a topic best discussed with your son’s physician. As I understand it, college athletes are required to have pre-season physicals, at least in the case of NCAA member schools. Hopefully, your son’s doctor is aware of any new recommendations for post-COVID cardiac or other system screenings, and if your son has already had and passed a thorough pre-season physical, that would appear to be a good sign that he’s considered fit to participate in sports. But, much is still unknown about long-term health effects of the virus, even on young people.

Since you have valid concerns about how ready he is for more than just the athletic aspect of his daily life at school, it’s worth it to be honest with him about your worries. It might be worth it for him to consult with his doctor about more than just his athletic readiness, for everyone’s peace of mind.

Family & ParentingCOVID-19Work & School
life

Son's Driving Style Drives Mom Crazy

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 16th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though I was my son’s primary driving teacher, I have to say that when I ride with him behind the wheel, it’s a white-knuckle experience.

He lately got a big promotion and a bonus at work and bought his dream car, a vintage red Camaro convertible. We live in Southern California, so it’s the perfect place for a ragtop. But this loving mother is not ready to ride with him until he learns to drive like a grown-up, instead of what my father used to call a “hotdog”!

I love my son, and hate to hurt his feelings, but how do I make it clear to him that I don’t need a thrill ride every time we hit the freeway? --- MOTHER OF A HOTDOG

DEAR MOTHER OF A HOTDOG: I’d like to be able to say, with confidence, that all young men outgrow their wild driving styles, that it’s just a phase; but personal experience with more than one fully-grown male driver proves otherwise.

While your son may be too old to have to do what you tell him to do, hopefully he isn’t beyond listening to what his mother considers sound advice. Your being up-front with him about your reluctance to be his passenger may help him realize that a little compromise on his part when you’re in the car would be a good and right thing to do. At least he’ll be under no illusion that you enjoy his haphazard driving style, and you’ll not have to hold your tongue in addition to holding on for dear life.

Health & SafetyFamily & Parenting
life

Hated Ex Is New Major Client

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 15th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I went through an incredibly horrible divorce nearly four years ago. I knew I had married the wrong guy less than a year into our marriage. Among his tricks were: he lied, he stole from me and my family, and although I could never prove it, I am sure he was cheating on me too.

A while ago I had heard that his company was in the market for a new PR firm, and as fate would have it, they decided to go with mine. It is our new star client, and my boss said he wants me to head up their account. It’s a huge deal to have this opportunity, but since my ex is their VP of Sales and Marketing, I already know I will have to be in direct contact with him, at least some of the time.

My boss is slightly familiar with my marital history, but has no idea how badly things went in the end. He has hinted that he knows this may be awkward for me, but he also said my ex requested me and my team specifically, which looks flattering to my boss, but which I know is just one more twist of the knife from my ex.

There is no way in hell I can see this ending well for me or my career. Asking to not be put on the job could negatively impact my future with my agency, but so could a blow-up between me and the only man in all the world I actively hate.

I pride myself on my professionalism, but doesn’t this seem like asking a bit too much of me? --- IN A TIGHT SPOT

DEAR IN A TIGHT SPOT: You mentioned that your boss was somewhat familiar with your marital situation. Perhaps a hint or two from you about the acrimonious nature of your parting with your ex wouldn’t be out of order. At the very least, he’d be on notice that there’s a potential for trouble ahead.

If you do end up with this account, as a safeguard to your personal wellbeing and professional integrity, maybe you could position someone on your team to be the lead in person contact when it comes time to deal directly with your ex. Putting a buffer between yourself and the man who made you miserable might be one way to both please your boss and protect yourself from anxiety.

In the long run, you may have less to worry about than you now anticipate. Your ex has some stake in the success of this new partnership too. He has bosses to please and a responsibility to his company, just as you do.

Work & SchoolMarriage & Divorce

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