life

Uneven Babysitting Exchange Causes Stress, Endangers Friendship

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 13th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A couple years ago, a good friend of mine and I started co-oping childcare coverage, since we were both primarily working from home. Throughout the pandemic, our arrangement continued to work well, but now my friend has started having to commute to her job again. Currently, she works remotely two days a week, and in-person three.

My job continues to be entirely remote, as it’s always been. I have to put in 5-7 hours a day to stay on top of my workload, and with watching both my own kids and my friend’s, I am having to work a lot of nights and sometimes part of the weekend to keep from falling behind. And, now since the kids have been home for the summer, the situation has been even more stressful.

I get that a boatload of money is being saved between my friend and I, since she’s still partially covering my kids the two days she’s home, but I’m getting worn down and a little resentful about having the bigger share of the childcare, which definitely affects my work and family situations.

What do I do to keep both my sanity and my friend? --- TOO MUCH TIME BABYSITTING

DEAR TOO MUCH TIME BABYSITTING: Rather than letting your feelings of frustration continue to fester into a resentment of your friend and your situation, I think you should level with her about how the current arrangement isn’t working as well for you as you’d hoped it would. Perhaps between you both, you can come up with a solution to make the childcare more equitable.

It may not be a bad idea to start by exploring hiring a reliable local teen to cover at least part of the workday. You and your friend could split the cost, which should certainly be considerably less than what either of you’d have to shell out for full or even parttime childcare outside the home.

Family & ParentingWork & SchoolCOVID-19
life

Old Photos of Ex-Wife Still on Display

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 9th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: The guy I’m seeing has only been divorced less than a year. It was one of those high school sweetheart things that didn’t make it very long after they were married.

I haven’t dated a whole lot of guys, but I never had one keep pictures of old loves out on display around his home before. Is this normal? It makes me wonder if he is really ready to move on. --- HAS HE MOVED ON?

DEAR HAS HE MOVED ON?: Since he was married to someone he was with for a long time, it’s not unreasonable to expect that it’s going to take a while for him to emotionally segue out of the failed relationship and into a new one. It’s also good to bear in mind that much of what he’s done for the past several years was done with his ex by his side.

If you’ve only been going together for a short while, it might be worth waiting a bit to see if his ex’s pictures start to disappear, particularly if things seem to be progressing between him and you. If it feels like you two are becoming a solid couple, I’d hope the old photos would start to be replaced by ones featuring the two of you.

If you don’t see that happening within what you feel is a reasonable timeframe, then the man you’re dating may not, as you speculate, be ready to move on, and you might want to start considering your options.

Marriage & DivorceLove & Dating
life

New Mom Nervous about Having Violent Nephew Visit

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 8th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My oldest nephew has significant emotional issues. He has slapped, punched, and bitten both his parents and his younger siblings, even when they were babies. For the last few years, my husband and I volunteered to take him for a week at the end of the summer to give his parents a break. Over the years, we’ve learned how to manage much of his difficult behavior, which was easier for us since there were no other children around.

That changed last year when we had our first baby. I know my sister-in-law and my brother are expecting us to continue taking their son for a few days in late August, but I am seriously not comfortable having him around our baby, who will be just one when my nephew would be arriving.

I know how much this week off means to my brother’s family, but I cannot justify potentially putting my own child at risk for injury.

How do I let them know we can’t help them out this time around? --- WORRIED FOR MY BABY

DEAR WORRIED FOR MY BABY: Callous as it may sound, your first responsibility is to your own family. If you don’t feel you can guarantee your baby’s safety around your nephew, then you need to be honest with your brother and his wife, and the sooner the better, so they have the opportunity to perhaps explore alternate respite arrangements for this summer.

Family & Parenting

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Why Do I Fail At Finding Friends With Benefits?
  • She Doesn’t Want To Date Me, So Why Won’t She Leave me Alone?
  • My Ex Still Loves Me, So Why Won’t He Take Me Back?
  • Comfort Me With Meatballs
  • Flip the Sheet Pan Dinner
  • A Mutual Salad Treaty
  • Astro-Graph for February 08, 2023
  • Astro-Graph for February 07, 2023
  • Astro-Graph for February 06, 2023
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal