DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My cousin and her fiancé postponed their wedding due to COVID. It was supposed to be last August. In the official postponement announcement they sent out, they said a new date was still pending. I got that card, but in the past couple of weeks my mom and stepdad, and my other cousin and her husband got save-the-new-date cards, but I never did. I don’t know if it was an oversight, or if the card got lost, or what, but if she really doesn’t want me at her wedding, that hurts. She had even told me the date in November they were about to confirm when I talked to her a couple months ago. Does she think that served as my official notice, or am I being cut from the guest list? I thought we were closer than this.
How do I figure out if I’m getting upset over something real, or it’s just an oversight? --- THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED
DEAR THOUGHT I’D BE INVITED: You might want to wait a bit before getting upset about not receiving a save-the-new-date announcement. The wedding isn’t until the fall, and who knows what can happen between now and then.
Taking into consideration you were sent a postponement notice, and your cousin spoke to you specifically about when they were hoping to reschedule, I’d figure chances are good you’re still on the guestlist.
Although it isn’t exactly Emily Post proper, it’s possible, as you suggested, your cousin does indeed consider your conversation with her as standing in for an official pre-invitation announcement.
Finally, there are still plenty of ongoing issues with mail delivery. For instance, I’m still receiving first class mail postmarked two or more weeks earlier, often from within my own or a neighboring state.