DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We have a three bedroom apartment. We sleep in one bedroom. We keep the second for guests, and the smallest was set up as a gaming room for my husband. I keep very few things in the closet there, and he has the entire rest of the space to himself. It’s where we have our second biggest TV and a special expensive gaming chair for him. It’s also large enough for him to have a second player in the room with him.
What I don’t get is why he has to take over our living room as well. I know he likes the bigger 4K screen. He puts on his headphones, so I don’t have to listen to the games, but I find it distracting with him shouting at the screen or having conversations with other remote players. It also prevents me from being able to enjoy some time watching my favorite shows and movies while hanging out in the living room.
When I say something to him, he kind of laughs it off. I am not sure he gets how much this sometimes bothers me. I’ve gone so far as to disconnect things “accidentally” when I am cleaning, which also doesn’t seem to make a difference to him.
I do not want to be a b about this, but I want to enjoy some downtime in our living room too.
Why won’t he get the hints, even when they are more than hints? --- GAMER’S WIFE
DEAR GAMER’S WIFE: Your husband may see his being in the living room the same time as you are as a way to simultaneously be with you and enjoy his gaming.
Perhaps you’ve been a little too subtle about wanting your turn to enjoy your big screen and the room where it sits. The time may have come to sit down with your husband and establish a clear schedule for when you’d like to have your screen time. It doesn’t seem unreasonable, especially since he has a designated area for his gaming. It would probably also help if you don’t attempt to ban him from pursuing his hobby outside of his gaming room. Compromise is key in most aspects of living with someone, and since it sounds like you don’t have a problem with him occasionally commandeering the common space, why not let him?