life

LW Thinks Long Hair on Older Women Is Wrong

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 7th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my mom turned 50, she cut her hair so it was just long enough to pull back. That was five years ago, and I see that a lot of her friends have kept their hair long.

I think it is strange and not at all a good look for older women to have long hair. It is almost like they want to look like their daughters or granddaughters.

Why would any older woman want to do that? I think it’s ridiculous. --- LONG HAIR FOR YOUNG HEADS

DEAR LONG HAIR FOR YOUNG HEADS: I can already imagine what some of this column’s readers will have to say about your question, so I’ll take a more polite approach.

While many women opt for shorter hair as we grow older, it’s often because of practical considerations, such as ease of care. For others, it’s a desire to change things up a bit. But I’ve known plenty of well-adjusted, quite contented women who have opted to wear their hair long as they age. It’s a matter of personal choice, based on private motives.

I believe you should do what works for you, and if your mom’s friends like their look, good for them.

Aging
life

Life with a Self-Proclaimed Hypochondriac in the Age of COVID

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 6th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My dad has called himself a hypochondriac for as long as I can remember. It got worse after he and my mom split up right before I started high school. When that happened, they were given joint custody of me, so I started splitting my time between their two homes, which I continue to do even while I’m now in college. I get along great with both my parents, and I actually enjoy being with them both, just not when they’re together.

Now that my dad is what he calls semi-retired, he has more time to worry about his health, and obviously, COVID hasn’t helped. He has sat in his car in stupid long lines four times I know of to get tested whenever he believes he has any of the potential symptoms. He is really healthy, and except for slightly high blood pressure and cholesterol, he is in really good shape for someone who is almost 60. But he refuses to go out of the house, except for getting tested and so far for his two vaccination appointments.

Now that he’s fully vaccinated, he needs to start getting out, and stop focusing on his health. What do I do to convince him it’s safe, and actually a good thing, to get out of the house once in a while? He is beginning to get a little weird from being home all the time and alone for half of it. --- HYPOCHONDRIAC’S KID

DEAR HYPOCHONDRIAC’S KID: I know a few people who, like your dad, are still not comfortable leaving their homes these days — even after they’ve been fully vaccinated. I’m glad when I hear that most of them at least venture out for some exercise and the occasional trip to do some necessary shopping.

Perhaps you could work on getting your dad out for a walk, even in your neighborhood, with you along, masked and socially distanced. You can explain to him that you really need the exercise yourself, and that you don’t have to stay out for too long. I’d start small and close to home, at a time when it isn’t likely you’ll encounter any neighbors. Then, if that works, you could try a local park, which will hopefully have other people, but also enough space to avoid being too close to them for your dad’s comfort. In time, you could talk to him about getting some professional help to deal with his anxieties, but that would probably be a hard sell right now.

Baby steps. I think that’s what it’s going to take to get your dad and countless others back out in the world again.

COVID-19Family & ParentingHealth & Safety
life

How Much Help with Grad School Is Enough?

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 4th, 2021

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son is going back to school to get his master’s in psychology, which, as he and his dad explain, he needs to get very far in such a competitive field.

I’m all for his going back to school and have told him that if he needs, he can move back into my basement apartment, where he lived for a few months after he graduated the first time. The space is currently not being rented out, and even though his being there will cut into my extra income, it will be okay for a while.

My ex-husband has told our son that he doesn’t see why we can’t help him with the tuition as well. That I can’t do comfortably. My ex and I pooled our money and took care of most of the costs for a bachelor’s, but I am not ready to take on any more expense for an adult child. Am I being selfish, like my ex keeps telling me I am? --- FEEL LIKE I’M DOING ENOUGH

DEAR FEEL LIKE I’M DOING ENOUGH: Based on what you shared, I’m on your side. Allowing your son to live rent-free is no small contribution to furthering his education.

If your ex-husband is able and willing to kick in some money towards the other expenses, then that can be his way of offering support to your son.

Family & ParentingMoney

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