DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and her mother are super close and always have been. Sometimes I wish, though, that they were a little less close, because my mother-in-law is constantly giving my wife her “advice” on how to raise our two children. Our son is four and our daughter is almost two. It’s like my wife has zero confidence in her own abilities, and can’t make a move without consulting with her mom. We have had more than one fight over this, and she thinks I don’t like her mother, which is absolutely not true. I just want for her and me to raise our own kids.

DEAR TOO MUCH MIL: What might help is if you ask your wife how she herself would handle particular situations as soon as they crop up. If you feel that her plan is reasonable and sound, let her know that and strongly support her following through on it. Keep trying that tactic until she realizes she can make good parenting decisions on her own.

How do I break this habit of reliance? --- TOO MUCH MIL

She may still confer with her mother, but perhaps she’ll be more self-assured and less reliant on Mom as the only source of knowledge and wisdom if she fully believes and understands that you have confidence in her abilities to parent your children.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend reports to basic training next month, and I’m having a hard time knowing what to do. Some of my friends think we should break up, since she’s going to be away for at least five years. We’ve been together since sophomore year of high school and I really love her, but I don’t know if we can survive so long apart.

Is it cleaner to just break up now, keep in touch, and see what happens in five years? --- NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

DEAR NOT SURE WHAT TO DO: Military service can be as hard on those left behind as it is for those who go in. You mention what your friends’ opinions are, but what about your girlfriend’s? Have you spoken with her about what she thinks is the best way to handle your relationship at this point? Remember, she’s the one leaving everything familiar behind, and from what I’ve heard of bootcamp, having a good support system from back home can be a critical component of a recruit’s success.

Talk to her and work it out for yourselves. You may find that for the time being, playing it by ear is the way to go. Whatever you decide, please let it be your and your girlfriend’s decision — not your friends’.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: The man who owns the house across from ours rents out his house, which is divided into three apartments. The place only has at most four or five legal bedrooms, and we’ve counted at least eight cars connected to the house, taking up more than a fair share of the on-street parking. Ours is an older neighborhood and most of the homes, like ours, don’t have driveways. If we come home later than usual, my husband and I have to end up parking a block or more away, because all the spots on our block, including those right in front of our house are already taken by the people from across the street.

As I said, we knew the kind of renters’ paradise we moved into, and it was the trade-off we decided to make to be able to afford our first house. But the parking problem is really getting on my nerves, especially if I get home late and have to walk more than a block by myself.

This isn’t the only rental on the block, and we knew that was the case when we bought in the neighborhood, but all the other landlords follow the zoning ordinances for maximum occupancy, so although there may be two or three cars per house, they generally manage to avoid parking in front of other people’s houses.

Do we say something to the tenants or to the landlord? --- NEED A PLACE TO PARK

DEAR NEED A PLACE TO PARK: Even if you spoke to the tenants, and even if they agreed to spread their cars over a couple of blocks so you and your husband could have space nearer or in front of your house, that would only potentially limit other homeowners from access to the on-street parking in front of their houses. But you could give it a try.

Approaching the landlord may be a better move. Giving the benefit of the doubt, he or she may not be aware of how many people are actually living in the house, and your raising the probability of occupancy code violations might give you a little leverage — if the landlord doesn’t want to end up in trouble with whoever regulates the housing in your town.