life

Nervous Response Lands LW in Hot Water

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 5th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have a history of nervous laughter that goes back to when I was at least in high school, if not earlier. My mom doesn’t remember exactly when it started, but she had me checked out by the family doctor, who sent me for therapy when it started happening more often by the time I was a sophomore in high school.

Last month I got to meet my fiancé’s family for the first time, and even though I used all my usual coping techniques, I still had a couple of bursts of what I am sure came off as inappropriate laughter. I got “the look” from his mother and her sister.

I got along with everyone for the most part, buy my fiancé did take me aside and told me that there was some talk about whether or not I’m a “little off”. Even though he stood up for me and explained about my issue, they still treated me differently after the two incidents.

What do I do to convince my future in-laws that I’m not “out there”? --- SOMETIMES I CAN’T HELP IT

DEAR SOMETIMES I CAN’T HELP IT: I think a lot of us at one time or another experience a case of nerves that touches off an unusual reaction, so you’re far from alone in that.

While it’s good your fiancé did his best to explain the situation, it might be even better for you to reach out directly to at least your future mother-in-law to provide your side of the story, including cluing her in on some of the strategies you use to control your nervous laughter.

It sounds like you’ve worked hard to manage your condition, and educating your future in-laws about both your challenges and what they can do to help support your efforts might go a long way once you’re part of their family.

Love & Dating
life

Grandpup Wars

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | November 3rd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I adopted our first dog together, and ever since, our parents have battled about who will take care of her when both my husband and I have to be away overnight or longer.

We usually laugh, but sometimes it gets a little weird and it really makes us wonder what it will be like when we have human kids. We’re to the point where we would almost rather pay for kenneling to keep the peace, but that seems like an insult to our parents, doesn’t it? --- PUP’S MOM

DEAR PUP’S MOM: Using a kennel would certainly send a clear message to the competing factions.

However, this could be the perfect time to begin “training” your parents to play nice and share, so that when human grandkids are in the picture, everyone will have a better idea of how things will play out. I’d just recommend trying to be equitable on your end, making sure everyone gets a fair chance, hopefully minimizing any claims of favoritism.

Marriage & Divorce
life

Hand-Me-Down Baby Clothes Cause Problems

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 30th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My sister-in-law and I couldn’t have more different tastes. She goes for everything very traditional, and I have more modern tastes.

When I was pregnant, she loaned me some maternity clothes that I wouldn’t wear around the house, much less to work. Her taste runs the same in baby/kids’ clothing, and since her daughter is two years older than our newborn baby girl, she was so excited to be able to pass along some of what I consider the most hideous outfits, which I would definitely not put our daughter in.

I appreciate her generosity in giving me the clothes, but how do I tell her I really don’t want them? --- NOT THE TRADITIONAL TYPE

DEAR NOT THE TRADITIONAL TYPE: You could tell her politely, “Thanks, but no thanks,” and leave it at that. Or, you could do what parents through the ages have done — keep one or two of the pieces that are the least outside your style and have your daughter dressed in them occasionally, but not all the time, when your sister-in-law is around. This way you’ll be less likely to offend, and also give her an idea of how you prefer to dress your baby.

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