life

Halloween Party Plans Miff Dad

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 27th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son announced he was invited to a Halloween party, which he fully intends to attend. I told him he is nuts for taking such a big chance, especially since I know the guy throwing the party, and I can guarantee it will be an overcrowded mess. My son assures me he’ll be careful, but I have already told him I do not want him around his mother and me for at least two weeks after he has been in what I consider a very risky environment. Am I overreacting? --- DON’T LIKE PARTY PLANS

DEAR DON’T LIKE PARTY PLANS: I’m with you in that it’s a bad idea to be in crowds these days, even if all reasonable precautions are taken. But the young, as ever, believe themselves invulnerable.

You’ve done your part to warn your son and to let him know what his actions will lead to as far as you and his mother are concerned. If he’s a legal adult and on his own, there’s little more you can do.

If he’s still living at home, you’ll have to consider how you can keep him safely apart from his mom and yourself in the same house. It can be done. I’ve known of other families who’ve managed to make voluntary in-home quarantines work.

COVID-19Health & SafetyHolidays & Celebrations
life

The Trials of a Shared Driveway

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 23rd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We knew going into our new home in an older neighborhood that we shared a driveway with our next-door neighbors. They recently had their half redone in concrete, which we can’t afford to do with our half, which does need some work. Our neighbors tried to talk us into going in with them, but we couldn’t swing it right now, especially since we had to have work done on our roof and plumbing this past summer.

We know it doesn’t look great to have the two different surfaces right next to each other, but there’s nothing we can do about it for now. Our neighbors have been cold shouldering us when we run into them getting into or out of our car. I get they’re disappointed, but you would think that as an older couple, they would understand not everyone has the same amount of ready cash. Why can’t they just get over it? --- HALF A DRIVEWAY OWNER

DEAR HALF A DRIVEWAY OWNER: Even though you were upfront with your neighbors about your inability to match their funds for an entire driveway redo, they may feel their property value is affected by the current appearance of the driveway; or they could be bothered by its aesthetics for their own sake. It might also be they have the perception that you’re just being cheap, which may be the hardest assumption for them to overcome.

It’s never pleasant when there’s tension between near neighbors, and perhaps the best thing you can do is to let it go, at least for a while. Best case, they stop freezing you out; worst case, they continue to give you the cold shoulder, which is something you may just have to get used to.

MoneyFriends & Neighbors
life

Parents of Newly Out Man Try Too Hard

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 22nd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I came out last year, it actually seemed to genuinely surprise my dad and stepmother, although my mother told me she’d figured it out years ago. All my parents have been kind and supportive, but my dad and stepmother are going overboard to let me know just how cool they are with me and my boyfriend. It’s gotten kind of embarrassing, and I know they don’t mean to be causing me any discomfort. They just aren’t sure how to let me know they’re okay with it.

Without hurting their feelings or embarrassing them, how do I let them know their overboard support is a problem? --- MY FOLKS ARE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC

DEAR MY FOLKS ARE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC: It sounds like your father and stepmother may still be processing a new situation that’s old news to you. I’d say give them a little time to figure out that you’re who you’ve always been, and hopefully things will be less strained for them.

In the meantime, and perhaps as a way to get things back on a less stressful footing, you might want to gently, but directly level with them, expressing how grateful you are that they’re so accepting and supportive, but that you really don’t want to be treated any differently by them than how they’ve always treated you.

LGBTQLove & Dating

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