life

Grandfather's Annual Trip Plans Worry Granddaughter

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 6th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My Grandpa told me that despite his being nearly 80, he still plans to make his annual visit to his hometown later this year. I know he knows what’s going on these days, and he still doesn’t care. Right now, he plans to fly, but I’m trying to convince him that since my classes are all on-line, I can go with him if he is willing to make it a road trip.

This has been a tough year for him. Not only has he had to spend most of it stuck in his house, but he lost two of his best friends, which I know is making him feel even more strongly about seeing the old friends he still has left in his hometown.

Every time I make my offer to go with him, he gets upset and thinks I’m treating him like a little kid. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I see this as a chance to spend some time with him, especially while he is so down.

What can I do to convince him my traveling with him is a good thing? --- READY FOR A ROAD TRIP

DEAR READY FOR A ROAD TRIP: I think your going along with him is a terrific idea, especially if you’ve had more experience in how things are done — or at least should be done — during the current pandemic.

Perhaps you ought to let your grandfather know how much you too need the morale-boosting change of scene that goes along with even a short road trip. Then, pack a good supply of masks, hand sanitizer, and if you can find or improvise any, disinfectant sprays or wipes.

You also might want to get up to speed on what health and safety measures are in place where you’ll be heading. It’s possible that retirement or nursing centers could still be limiting their residents’ exposure to those outside the building, and if any of your grandfather’s friends are living in one, he may not have the visit he’s hoping for.

Health & SafetyCOVID-19Aging
life

Dad Knows Son Needs Financial Help, but Won't Take Any

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 2nd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son is a very proud young man. When my father died, he left all the grandchildren a little money. My two daughters used theirs towards college, but my son used it to start a small hiking/camping tour guide business out in California. His business was booming for the first three years, then the pandemic hit and he had to lay off three of his five employees, and is now on the verge of having to take a second mortgage on his home to keep up with the bills he has to pay. He told us that he has picked up a little business, but not enough to keep him afloat much longer.

My ex-wife (his mother), my current wife, and I have all discussed what we can do to help, and we’re all willing to lend him enough to cover his bills for the next few months, until things get back to a more normal state.

So far, he has told us he doesn’t need or want our help, and to stop treating him like a little kid. He has barely spoken to us since we made the offer, and I don’t know what to do to make things better with him again. I want him to know our offer still stands, but don’t want it to be a wedge in what has always been a good relationship.

Did we do anything wrong in making our offer to help? --- JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP

DEAR JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP: I think there was no harm in extending your offer, provided you didn’t present it in such a way as to make your son believe you had no confidence in him and his abilities. Clearly, he was doing well before the pandemic, and once the economy improves and people are allowed and inclined to return to favorite pursuits, hopefully his business will pick up again.

You’ve made your offer, now its up to him to take it or leave it. Your renewing it may only fuel his resentment, misplaced or not.

COVID-19Family & ParentingMoney
life

Grandfather's Strange Behavior Causes Concern

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 1st, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandfather is a pretty fit guy, but sadly he ended up with heart surgery after having a heart attack the beginning of this year. I was away at school while all this was happening, but my mom kept me in the loop.

Now that I’m home, I keep seeing things about how my grandfather acts that make me think either he’s losing it or the meds he takes for his heart are whacking him out. He does things like leaving important papers out where they can get seen or lost. He keeps falling asleep during the day, when before he would never sit down until after dinner. I see that when he tries to read the newspaper or a book, he just ends up staring off into space. And he is more nervous than I ever remember him being.

Whenever I say something about this to my mom, she makes like it’s nothing and I should just let it go.

I am worried about my grandfather and don’t know what to do about it. --- CONCERNED GRANDKID

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDKID: Both heart attacks and heart surgery are both physically and emotionally traumatic, life-altering events with a whole host of aftereffects. From what I’ve seen, mental health counseling and treatment are a common part of the post-operative care plan for cardiac patients.

Check to see if your grandfather is receiving psychological support services as part of his cardiac rehab program. If not, it’s certainly something to suggest. Sadly, with all the ripple effects of the pandemic on healthcare, it’s possible your grandfather hasn’t had ready access to some of what’s usually available to those facing what he’s been going through.

AgingPhysical HealthFamily & Parenting

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • My Ex Still Loves Me, So Why Won’t He Take Me Back?
  • Why Is My Ex Sending Mixed Signals?
  • Does She REALLY Like Me, Or Is It A Trick?
  • Comfort Me With Meatballs
  • Flip the Sheet Pan Dinner
  • A Mutual Salad Treaty
  • Astro-Graph for February 06, 2023
  • Astro-Graph for February 05, 2023
  • Astro-Graph for February 04, 2023
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal