DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I grew up with a tough guy father, who did not believe in “coddling” us. We were expected to pull our weight around the house, which was a good thing, but he also did not go in for the stuff that comforts most kids. We weren’t allowed cuddle toys or nightlights in particular.

Our three-year-old daughter is truly afraid of the dark, and we have a small ballerina nightlight in her room in our house. When we visit my dad’s though, he makes a stink about us setting it up in the spare bedroom where he’s moved our old crib. The last time we were there, he went into the room after we had gone to bed and turned the light out. Two hours later, our daughter woke up screaming and crying.

At this point I do not want to have any more overnight visits in my own father’s house. My wife tries to defend him, in her way, but I don’t see this as defendable. I get “his house, his rules,” but this is our child and that should be more important than his parenting philosophy.

Are we right not taking our daughter to see her grandfather until she is old enough to sleep in a darkened room? --- NOT A TOUGH GUY DAD

DEAR NOT A TOUGH GUY DAD: That your father openly disregarded your wishes and turned off the nightlight makes me think he isn’t interested in respecting your parenting practices.

The solution may be to avoid overnight visits for the time being, or perhaps suggesting he make the trip to your house, if circumstances allow. If he can see your family in your home, under your rules, he may get a better idea of the environment your daughter is used to. Then, maybe he’ll relent, or at least concede to your continuing your daughter’s routine in his house without interference.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My roommate is one of those people who loves animals more than people. She’s also very kind and feeds stray cats in the neighborhood, which I think is fine.

What I’m not so good with is that she brings them into our house sometimes when the weather is bad. I’ve done some research on what problems can come along with strays, and I am worried the street cats will expose our own house cats to some dangerous diseases. I’ve brought this up with my roommate every time she brings a stray in, even for the night, but she doesn’t believe she’s doing any harm.

What can I do to convince her to keep her stray cat- caregiving outdoors? --- WANT TO KEEP MY CATS SAFE

DEAR WANT TO KEEP MY CATS SAFE: For starters, you should share the specific information you’ve found about communicable feline diseases with your roommate, if you haven’t already. Generalities may not be enough to convince her.

If that doesn’t make any difference, I strongly recommend having a conversation with your veterinarian to get some guidance and their take on introducing strays to house pets. Having your roommate in on the discussion would be a good idea, so that you both have the same information to work with moving forward.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even before the pandemic, my husband wasn’t thrilled with the thought of my getting a job, even a part-time one. We have a one-year-old son, and right now no plans for another baby anytime soon.

For the first few months, I was totally happy being home with our baby full-time, but now I feel like I need to both get out of the house at least a few hours a week, and also have some money that I can contribute to our expenses.

My mom lives ten minutes away and said she would be happy to help with babysitting, and my mother-in-law said she would volunteer for back-up if there are days my mom can’t do it. I honestly don’t see any issues, but my husband keeps discouraging me. I know I have to wait a little bit longer for the world to be more normal, but do you think I am wrong to want to get out and be more help to our finances? --- NEED JUST A LITTLE JOB

DEAR NEED JUST A LITTLE JOB: Except for the current state of things, especially the job market, I don’t see anything wrong with what you’re hoping to do. However, you didn’t share why your husband doesn’t want you working, and his concerns need to be taken into account.

It might be he’s worried about a disruption of your home life, or that the childcare will fall on him. Whatever his concerns, you need to address them with solid, well-thought out responses.

Also, never discount the importance of holding down a home and anchoring a family. Either one can be a full-time job in itself. It may not seem like it, but providing your own childcare alone is a huge savings over the course of a year.