life

Boss's BF Pays Too Much Attention to LW for Her Comfort

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 20th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Sometimes when it’s slow and she cannot afford to bring in extra help, like these past few months, my boss asks her boyfriend, “Kenny,” to come in and help, especially with the heavy lifting. She runs a small on-line specialty baby clothing business, and sometimes there are fabric bolts and other supplies delivered that are hard for us to handle, especially since my boss has a bad back and I have neck problems, which is an occupational hazard in my field. I am her main seamstress, and throughout the pandemic, I have been most days her only employee, except for the guy she has who takes the shipments to either UPS or the post office.

My boss is only five years older than me, and her boyfriend is the same age she is. They have been going together for something like ten years, and even though they do not technically live together, it seems he is at her house more than not, and the studio she rents for the business is only two blocks from her apartment.

The last few times Kenny has been in to help, as soon as my boss heads out, he stops whatever he was doing and comes over and hangs out next to me and my machine. He has done it before, but now his attitude seems more like flirting instead of passing the time.

It makes me uncomfortable, but I feel weird about saying something either to him or especially my boss. I feel like if I offend either one of them I could lose my job, and I do not want to do that, not with other jobs so hard to find.

Do you think I should say something to one of them? --- NOT INTERESTED IN LOSING MY JOB

DEAR NOT INTERESTED IN LOSING MY JOB: As you’ve known this man for a while, and it’s only recently that he’s changed his approach to you when your boss isn’t around, I’d cast my vote for saying something to him about how his new kind of talk makes you uncomfortable.

In the unlikely event he isn’t aware of how he’s coming off, at least you’ll make it clear to him that you’re not interested, and you’re likewise not inclined to just let it go.

life

Half-Naked Is No Dress Code for Grandmother

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 18th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our daughter’s fiancé is a big believer in living the casual life when in his own home. This extends to his not feeling a need to wear a shirt, and usually he only has on a pair of flip flops and running or exercise shorts.

I’ve gotten used to it, but when I bring my 84-year-old mother over to their place for a visit, I can tell his being half-naked makes her uncomfortable, even though she’s too much of a lady to say anything. This is a woman who comes from the time when men wore shirts and ties pretty much wherever they went.

Do you think it’s unreasonable for an adult man to at least put on a shirt when entertaining guests in his home? I’m on the verge of simply not visiting with my mother anymore, which I know would hurt my daughter, who is very close to her grandma, but I have to be fair to my mom. --- NO SHIRT, NO VISIT

DEAR NO SHIRT, NO VISIT: Is your daughter aware of the semi-nude effect on her grandmother? If not, bring her into the picture, and together the two of you might be able to persuade your future son-in-law that it wouldn’t kill him to throw on a shirt and a decent pair of pants when his future grandmother-in-law stops by.

If that doesn’t work, then just start having the visits take place in locations where your daughter’s fiancé doesn’t set the dress Scode.

life

Proposed Baby Names Cause Problem

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 14th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our granddaughter is about to have her first baby and the names she and her husband have chosen have had my wife in tears. They are planning to name the child, first and middle names, for our grandson-in-law’s grandmother. They’re not even that close to her, but my wife says there is money involved, so they caved into his mother’s pressure.

Now they could have included one name from each side of the family, don’t you think? --- HAVING TO HEAR MY WIFE CRYING

DEAR HAVING TO HEAR MY WIFE CRYING: The desire to please what may be seen as the more demanding side of the family could be as much at work here as any inheritance considerations. If that’s the case, the young couple needs to grow a backbone, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Another issue that might be at play is that your grandson-in-law’s family adheres to the tradition of naming children for direct ancestors.

Whatever the case, instead of stewing over the situation, perhaps you and your wife can have a discussion with the young couple and ask, as a point of curiosity, the real rationale behind the name choices.

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