DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our state is still seeing high COVID case numbers, so all the local nursing homes are still closed to visitors. I understand all the precautions are necessary, but it is getting harder on both my grandpa and my family to only have short visits at his window. His nursing home had more than 20 positives, and two people were in the hospital. It makes us all nervous that he could be next.

He has dementia, and we can’t decide if it does him more good than bad when we show up with masks on and he can’t even see our faces to help him remember who we are. He still clearly knows my mom and dad, although he can’t always remember their names, but he is less sure about my brother, his wife, and their toddler, and me and my boyfriend, who my grandpa has known for years.

Do you think it’s just more scary and confusing for my grandfather to be seeing these people he doesn’t know for sure, all wearing masks, instead of our just waiting until we can visit without our faces covered and he can see who we are? --- DON’T WANT TO MAKE IT WORSE FOR MY GRANDPA

DEAR DON’T WANT TO MAKE IT WORSE FOR MY GRANDPA: This is a topic to discuss with your family and your grandfather’s caregivers, who see how he is after his visitors leave and may offer some useful feedback.

Your parents can ask if video chats are available, since that way your grandfather could see faces, even if it’s only on a cellphone or pad screen.

What might also help is if your family avoids group visits. One or two masked faces at a time might be easier for him to process and allow for a more focused visit.

Another thing you could do, if you already haven’t, is make sure your grandpa has labeled photos of loved ones. Since space is most likely limited in his room, photobooks and albums may be a good option.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband travels a lot for his work, sometimes having to be away for two or three weeks at a time. We couldn’t afford a dream house, so we got a fixer-upper in an older neighborhood near where we want our kids, when they come along, to go to school. It’s also not a bad commute for me.

I love the house and most of the neighbors, but there is one woman who is always asking questions around what she really wants to say, and what she really wants to say is something about my cheating on my husband with the guy who always comes over to help me. This mystery man is my future brother-in-law, who happens to be a professional carpenter. He lives about 90 minutes away, so when we’re working on an especially big job, he sometimes stays over, including when my husband’s away. My sister has come along with him a few times, but she’s a nurse, so her weekends are often not her own.

I have introduced, and reintroduced my future brother-in-law to her as what he is — my future brother-in-law — but I can see she doesn’t believe it, and word has gotten back to me by way of another neighbor that the other woman is saying some nasty things about me.

Honestly, I want to laugh, but it just bugs the hell out of me that this woman is spreading lies about me. Do I let her have it or laugh it off in front of her? --- NOT A CHEATER

DEAR NOT A CHEATER: Some people prefer to think the worst about others as a way of feeling better about themselves.

Maybe the next time your husband and your future brother-in-law are at the house at the same time, you should make it a point to re-re-introduce both men to your nosy neighbor, if possible in front of a few of the other folks on your street.

You can’t scrub her mind, but maybe you’ll make her think twice about spreading her toxins so freely.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work in the housekeeping department of a hospital, and as much as I’d like to, I’ve never taken any of the PPE (personal protective equipment) for use outside of work. However, several of my coworkers do. I get why they do it, especially early on when it was nearly impossible to get masks and gloves, but now masks are everywhere, and we’ve been able to get gloves more easily than we were a few weeks ago, although we still keep running low on all PPE supplies.

Do you think this is a case where it’s not so bad to take things for the protection of those you love? It seems selfish in some ways, but isn’t it also justifiable? I am not going to blow any whistles, but I also can’t do what they do with a clear conscience. --- CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO JOIN IN

DEAR CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO JOIN IN: The short answer is it isn’t ever right to steal, but, like you, I can understand some of your coworkers’ thinking. People want to be protected and protect those they love.

However, healthcare workers and providers and first responders need to have priority access to PPE, especially if there’s still the danger of shortages of quality protective equipment. I say leave the needed supplies to the professionals, who are trained in their proper use and disposal.