life

Blogger Shares TMI for GF's Comfort

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 30th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend is incredibly creative and talented and one of the best writers I know. About six months ago she started a blog, and lately she’s started getting into writing about her relationships — past and present.

I’m not an overly private person, but some of what she shares is getting me a little uncomfortable. Although she writes under a different name, all our friends know who she is and that she’s in a relationship with me.

I have mentioned to her how uncomfortable some of what she is putting out there makes me, but she says nobody will take it all that seriously, and she wouldn’t put in anything too personal, but I feel she already has.

Am I just being uber-sensitive? --- THE BLOGGER’S GIRLFRIEND

DEAR BLOGGER’S GIRLFRIEND: Writers have long taken inspiration from their own lives, and it’s often something that comes with the territory for those close to them. In the case of bloggers in particular, what happens in their lives is what they’re most likely to write about.

It may not be enough to tell her you’re just not comfortable with her writing about your relationship, especially since it’s presumably a big part of her life. Perhaps it’s time to be more specific about what you consider fair game and are alright with her posting and what you strongly believe is too personal for public consumption.

Love & Dating
life

SIL Seeks to Avoid Time with Wife's Single-minded Dad

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 28th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and her dad are close and share many common interests. Unfortunately, the ones she shares with him are not the hobbies she and I enjoy together. He’s a big fisherman and especially likes fly fishing, which I think is about as dull a way to spend time as possible. When he isn’t working, he’s fishing, or tying flies, or talking about fishing adventures and flies he’s tied. I respect his enthusiasm, but don’t share it in the least.

How do I tell my father-in-law I really don’t care about his passion? He and my wife seem to think it’s something I need to get into too. --- NO ANGLER

DEAR NO ANGLER: You seem to be forgetting that you and your father-in-law have something very much in common — your wife. You could let them know you’re pleased that they still get to spend time together doing something they both enjoy; that this is their special time, and the last thing they need or should want is to have you tagging along.

Perhaps you could also offer that you look forward to the days they’re fishing to get caught up with some of your own pet projects and hobbies.

Family & Parenting
life

Free Handyman May Have a High Price

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 24th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my brother’s friends is in construction, and when he heard I needed some help with a fixer-upper I’m buying from a much older second cousin, he offered to help out on a few of the bigger projects. I offered to pay him in cash, but he said he was fine. So long as I paid for all the materials and supplies, he would settle for a pizza and a case of his favorite brew.

The first couple of projects went well. He does good work, at least as far as I can tell, and some other people who have seen it agree.

We just started working on replacing the back deck and are about halfway through. This time, he started with not so hidden suggestions that I could pay him with something much more personal than pizza and beer.

I don’t think he’s a bad guy, and we get along well when we’re working together, but I am most certainly not into him in any other way than as a friend, and a friend of my brother.

He’s currently out of town on a job that will take at least four weeks, and he has promised to finish the deck when he gets back. I’m just not willing to pay his price for it.

I haven’t told my brother about this, because I don’t want it to affect their friendship, but I don’t know what to do about his friend and my unfinished deck. --- NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL

DEAR NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL: Is it possible your brother’s friend was just testing the waters with a little flirtation? If so, then hopefully all he needs is some simple, but firm, redirection.

If, however, you’re certain he means business, then you have to shut it down and find another way to get your deck finished. You have a convenient excuse that you don’t want to go the whole summer without a deck, and ideally since having the earlier work done with minimal expense, you’ve saved enough money to afford to hire a professional to finish the job.

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