DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Shortly after retiring, my wife and I decided we could manage with one car, and it worked out well. Until our grandson got back from college, that is. He is still looking for a job, and guess whose car he is always asking to borrow for interviews and other “important” errands.

We have spoken to his parents, more than once, about this, and they say they can’t do much because they are still working and need their cars. I think providing a set of wheels for their son is their job more than it is ours.

As usual, my wife does not want to make waves, but when we find ourselves having to schedule the use of our own car around our grandson’s needs, I think something is out of whack. Don’t you? --- WANT MY WHEELS BACK

DEAR WANT MY WHEELS BACK: You’re absolutely right to want priority use of your car. You’ve already been generous and supportive; now you need some consideration in return.

Since your grandson’s parents don’t have a car to lend him, maybe they can set up an Uber or other car service account for when he needs a ride and you don’t have one to conveniently offer.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Sometimes I just don’t get it. My wife is forever deep cleaning our apartment. She steams the carpets and living room furniture at least every other week. I’ve told her I read too much steam cleaning can damage your furniture and carpet and can even cause mold, but she doesn’t seem to get it.

We have a toddler, so she thinks the best thing to do is keep everything as sanitary as possible, but I think she’s doing our daughter a disservice and maybe even exposing her to mold.

Should I worry my wife is becoming some kind of germophobic? --- LIKE A LITTLE DIRT

DEAR LIKE A LITTLE DIRT: Given everything that’s been going on, it’s possible your wife is just doing what she thinks is best to protect her family. However, your point about too much not necessarily being a good thing is also a valid one, for a number of reasons.

Maybe if you share with her some of the information you’ve found regarding the potentially adverse effects of overcleaning, she’ll consider changing up her housekeeping routines a bit.

But remember when you broach the subject, be sure to give her credit for her motives and efforts.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My roommate, “Josh,” is seeing “Ray” since last Halloween, when they met at a party. Josh wanted to take it slow, and they did, until Ray practically moved in around Valentine’s Day, and somehow ended up largely sheltered in place with us throughout the pandemic lockdown.

It isn’t that Ray’s a bad guy, but he likes to think of himself as kind of “unique,” so he does these really odd things, like garnish his meals with foul-smelling “unique” spices, and putting on aftershave that’s a little too exotic for me — as in open the windows immediately exotic. He brought in this weird houseplant that was flown in from an Amazonian rainforest, which is now taking up a quarter of our living room.

I’m usually pretty chill, but I’m beginning to feel like Ray is taking over our home, and not only doesn’t he pay rent, but apparently feels he has the right to help himself to anything we have, including linens, kitchen items, and some toilet paper, which mysteriously went missing at the beginning of the big shortage.

I like and respect Josh, but this guy he’s so hooked on is not so much “unique” as weird, and I don’t like the way he’s edging further and further into our home. I want to say something to Josh, but don’t want to upset him. Any suggestions? --- NOT LOVING UNIQUE

DEAR NOT LOVING UNIQUE: It’s a delicate balance between being tolerant and being put-upon, and it sounds like the scale’s already tipped.

Since the romance is still somewhat new, your roommate may as yet be in the “love is blind” stage. If that’s the case, your next step might be to gently, and privately, break it to him that some of his new guy’s habits are not what you’re used to, and you aren’t sure how to deal with them.

Unless you’re in a position to find somewhere else to live, it might be a case of your putting up with some of the oddities. However, the disappearance of commonly-owned or purchased household items is different, and certainly worth openly bringing up, even if Ray is visiting. That way he’s been put on notice that not everything in his boyfriend’s apartment is up for grabs. If he’s becoming part of the household, he has to contribute something material to its running — other than an Amazonian wonder.