DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was with my ex-boyfriend for over three years. We broke up because I wanted to take things to the next level, but he kept telling me he was not ready. Fast forward to last week, when I ran into his best friend, who was a little too happy to break the news to me that my ex is engaged to a woman he has been with for less than six months.
I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it hurts to know that after all the time we were together, he did not really want me for keeps. All I get from my father and stepmother is the “plenty of other fish in the sea” line, which doesn’t exactly make me feel better.
I want to call my ex and tell him what I think, but I keep finding excuses to let him off the hook. Do I make that call? --- NOT THE ONE HE WANTED
DEAR NOT THE ONE HE WANTED: What would you hope to gain by confronting your ex now? It won’t change the situation, and at best would only give you a little temporary relief.
Hard as it may be to take, this wasn’t the guy for you, and he knew it. He’s moved on, and the only way you’ll do the same is to accept that reality and be relieved that your heartache isn’t nearly what it would’ve been had you gotten engaged or married before one of you figured out there was no future for you as a couple.