DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was with my ex-boyfriend for over three years. We broke up because I wanted to take things to the next level, but he kept telling me he was not ready. Fast forward to last week, when I ran into his best friend, who was a little too happy to break the news to me that my ex is engaged to a woman he has been with for less than six months.

I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it hurts to know that after all the time we were together, he did not really want me for keeps. All I get from my father and stepmother is the “plenty of other fish in the sea” line, which doesn’t exactly make me feel better.

I want to call my ex and tell him what I think, but I keep finding excuses to let him off the hook. Do I make that call? --- NOT THE ONE HE WANTED

DEAR NOT THE ONE HE WANTED: What would you hope to gain by confronting your ex now? It won’t change the situation, and at best would only give you a little temporary relief.

Hard as it may be to take, this wasn’t the guy for you, and he knew it. He’s moved on, and the only way you’ll do the same is to accept that reality and be relieved that your heartache isn’t nearly what it would’ve been had you gotten engaged or married before one of you figured out there was no future for you as a couple.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: At a Christmas party last year, I reconnected with an old friend from middle and high school. We used to be so tight back then, but we lost touch a year or two into college. She and her new husband moved back to town last fall, and she is trying to reestablish herself here.

It’s not that she is a bad person, but she still does some things I now consider pretty juvenile, even though I went along with them when I was a teenager. She was never a queen bee, or anything like that, but she used to make fun of people and comment about them behind their backs. I now understand she was expressing her own insecurities, which was OK at the time, but now when she still does it, it seems strange, sad, and mean-spirited.

I don’t mind spending a little time with my old friend, but I don’t see us getting close like we used to be. Since that seems to be her goal, wouldn’t it just be kinder in the long run if I broke off the friendship now? Otherwise it feels to me like I’d just be stringing her along. --- CONFUSED OLD FRIEND

DEAR CONFUSED OLD FRIEND: Growing apart is often a big part of growing up. Perhaps your old friend’s reliance on you will lighten once she gets more resettled into the community. For now, it’s probably easier for her to reach out to previously established connections until she meets new people and makes friends through work or other interests.

In the meantime, so long as you’re willing to spend a little time with her now and then, I don’t see anything wrong with your lending her your support. Pick and choose your get-togethers so that you have a strong say in how often and under what circumstances you meet. She may take your cues and keep the relationship on the more casual side.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My daughter and new son-in-law both work fulltime and haven’t started a family yet, although many of their friends who have been married for a few years have. They are talking about starting a family in the next year or two, but they seem to spend a lot of money on unnecessary or unnecessarily expensive things.

Both of them work hard, but neither of them works in a field that promises a big income, and they have admitted they have next to no savings. They also have said that when they do have a family, one of them will stay home to raise their children.

I worry that they are living in a financial fantasyland, and whenever I try to advise them to be more frugal, they say that they may as well spend while they have it, and then will deal with less income when the time comes.

Is this any way to prepare for a future together, and with a family? --- FRUGAL MOM

DEAR FRUGAL MOM: This may be one of those cases where all you can do is what you’ve already done, offer your suggestions. Now it’s time to step back and let them learn from their mistakes — or prove your worries wrong by managing well on their own.