life

Son Can't Get Mom to Venture Back into the World

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | June 23rd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though our state’s stay-at-home order was lifted weeks ago, my mother refuses to go anywhere besides the food store and the pharmacy. She won’t even come to our house to spend time with me, my wife, our baby, and our toddler. My wife and I are still working from home, so it isn’t like we’re exposed to many more people than she is when she does her grocery shopping.

I can tell the isolation has been getting to her, and I would have thought having the chance to get out and be with her grandkids would be something she’d jump at. What would you suggest that might tempt her out of her house? --- WORRIED ABOUT MY MOM

DEAR WORRIED ABOUT MY MOM: Given everything going on these days, it’s not surprising your mom is hesitant to leave what she may consider her only safe haven.

If she won’t come to your house, is she perhaps open to having you and your family stop by her place? With the warmer weather and longer days, maybe she’d be more tempted to do something along the lines of a backyard picnic, where safe distances would be easier to maintain; and if it helps further, you might offer for you and your wife to wear masks.

If she gets comfortable being around people she’s close to first, it might make it a little easier for her to begin venturing out to other familiar settings.

COVID-19
life

New GF Irritated by BF's Ex's Copycat Routine

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | June 19th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend has a kid with his ex, so they have to meet up for custody swaps. Funny thing — well not so funny to me — is that every time we see her, his ex is either wearing nearly exactly what I had on the last time, or has done her hair, make-up, or nails how I usually do and she usually doesn’t.

I’ve known this woman since we worked together a few summers ago. She has completely different tastes and styles from me, yet now, she’s my “Mini-Me.”

I didn’t have an American Girl doll when I was a kid. Why should I have to have a living one now? --- REAL ME

DEAR REAL ME: Maybe the ex is hoping to replicate whatever it is you do that’s allowing you to succeed where she failed.

Saying something to her would only come off as catty, and since you’ve got the guy, you can afford to be magnanimous and let it go. If she doesn’t get a reaction from either you or your boyfriend, she may eventually tire of her imitation game.

Love & Dating
life

Offer to Help Out Son Somehow Gets Extended to Pregnant Girlfriend

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | June 18th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son is scheduled to leave the country for specialized training this fall, current circumstances permitting. I had told my son that since his lease is up in September anyway, if he needed to give up the apartment and leave his stuff with me while he is gone, I would be okay with it. I live alone and have plenty of space. I had also told him he could even crash here when he got back until he found a new apartment.

This was all discussed before his girlfriend moved in with him three months ago and was pregnant nearly immediately after that. It seems that the offer I made has been turned into his promise to his girlfriend that she would be able to stay with me and not be alone while he is gone, which he will be during the latter part of the pregnancy and up to the second month after delivery.

While I’m happy about the baby and really like my son’s girlfriend, this whole situation has put me on the spot. When I made the offer, I did not know this would turn into a double-package deal. I feel like I was not given a choice, but I also do not want to make things tougher for them.

I intend to let her stay, but should I make a big deal about how it all came about? --- SURPRISED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SURPRISED IN MICHIGAN: I don’t see any reason you can’t express your surprise at how things are turning out. So long as you’re going with the flow, then go with it, but don’t set yourself up for being a permanent pushover. What you may want to make very clear — if it’s the case — is that this is a temporary situation. It might not be that they’re taking advantage of you, but unless everyone’s on the same page from the get-go, trouble could pop up down the road.

Family & Parenting

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