DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend and I have been together for over two years, and even though we have separate apartments, we are usually at her place or mine every night. She comes from a strict family, headed up by her old school father, who can’t even imagine his little girl is having sex, much less practically living with a man “in sin.” So, whenever her family comes over to her place, we have to hide all my stuff and I can never be there when they arrive. I can get there later, but not before we go through this whole charade.

I love my girlfriend, and we have talked about getting married, but it really bugs me that I have to disappear to please her family. Is this an overreaction? --- THE INVISIBLE MAN

DEAR INVISIBLE MAN: Well, that depends. You don’t mention if you’ve ever discussed this situation with your girlfriend, so let’s figure you have. If you haven’t, that’s the first step you should strongly consider taking. It’s unlikely she’s clueless about the position her wanting to conceal the nature of your relationship puts you in.

After laying your cards on the table, be considerate of her position too. Most likely, she doesn’t want to hurt her parents and cause a rift in the family. If you’re seen as the reason she and her family are at odds, what does that do to how you’re viewed by her parents, especially as a prospective son-in-law?

Talk it through with your girlfriend, and choose your battle wisely. Either you offend her family now and put your girlfriend in a difficult place, or bide your time and see what the longer-term bodes.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: At first I thought it was my imagination, but now I know it isn’t me. A few times after I got together with my former co-worker and friend, I noticed something went missing from my bag.

We’ve been having lunch together every two or three months, lately just at a local place with a lot of outdoor seating. I used to ask her to watch my bag when I ran inside to use the restroom, and later, when I looked for my lipstick or mascara, and one time my tampons, they weren’t there.

I don’t get it, personally. But, I also don’t want to lose a friendship over some small items disappearing, but I also worry next time it’ll be something more valuable. I’ve started keeping my handbag with me at all times when we’re together, but thinking about what I know she’s done in the past makes me wonder if I want to continue seeing her in the future.

Do I confront her, or just let it go and keep taking precautions? --- MY FRIEND HAS STICKY FINGERS

DEAR MY FRIEND HAS STICKY FINGERS: Since you have no way of proving that your friend snagged the items from your bag, there’s little point in accusing her of having taken them now, well after the fact. The only reason to do so would be if you’re planning to attempt a sort of one-person intervention, which may or may not be a good idea.

You already seem to have a handle on your two most practical main options — back off from the relationship, or continue to guard your belongings.

As I see it, it comes down to your level of comfort with someone you feel you can’t trust. Suspicion and mistrust, even if they’re in the background, aren’t the best foundations for a healthy friendship.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our youngest son still lives at home. He pays us rent, usually within a week of when it is due. He is also good about helping out with incidental expenses around the house, especially if it has to do with the apartment we made in our basement, first for his older siblings, and which he now uses.

He is a good and generally responsible young man. He makes okay money, and has even managed to put a little away in a savings account he started back when he was in high school.

What worries me, and he just does not seem to comprehend why, is that because he doesn’t have good bill paying habits, his credit score is not what it should be. As a matter of fact, it has gone down nearly 70 points in the past two months because of missed or late payments.

My ex-husband, our son’s girlfriend, and I have all offered to help him figure out how to stay on top of his bills. He refuses to set-up automatic on-line payments, which I can kind of see, because he works for a modest base pay and quarterly commissions, which are usually good money and make up the bulk of his income. However, the commissions can post anywhere in the payout month, and he doesn’t want anything to bounce if the payment comes due before the commission is deposited and clears.

He and his girlfriend are starting to talk about buying a place of their own, and since she is working fulltime on her masters, she can only work parttime, and has never yet been in a situation to build decent credit on her own.

What arguments can you suggest to help get my son on track with his bill paying before he attempts to buy a house? We are out of ideas. --- HAVEN’T GOT THE ANSWER

DEAR HAVEN’T GOT THE ANSWER: From what you said, it sounds like at least part of your son’s bill paying troubles stem from a cashflow situation over which he has little to no control.

One thing he might do is to put some of his savings into his regular checking account to boost its balance, and then immediately replace that amount with his bonus payments when they come through.

That’s just one idea, and since neither I nor any of the people currently advising him are experts in this field, he should consider sitting down with someone more knowledgeable in financial management to see what strategies can be offered to help him stay on top of his cash flow issues.

If your son has his money in a brick-and-mortar bank, perhaps he could make an appointment to speak with one of the bank’s customer service representatives to get better, more specific direction in managing his finances both now and in the future, especially if he’s considering applying for a mortgage.