DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My parents helped me with my undergrad degree, paying the tuition, while I covered the room and board. I am grateful for all they did, but they’re not able to help me with the cost of my master’s, which I understand. I have always understood they would help me as much as they could and that the rest would be on me.

I’ve been accepted to UC Berkley’s postgraduate engineering program, which is a big deal for my future career prospects.

The last week or two, though, I have been getting a lot of negative comments from my parents about how the large student loans I’m going to have to take out will impact my life once I’m out of school. I understand this, but also figure that with the degree from a top school, my earnings will be commensurately higher, and I’ll manage just fine. They would prefer I go to one of the other, less costly programs to which I’ve also been accepted.

I can see they are really worried about me and I need to find ways to let them know I’m good with the way things are, and I’ll be good with what comes next. What do you think would work? --- OKAY WITH GOOD DEBT

DEAR OKAY WITH GOOD DEBT: I agree your parents’ worries are well-founded. They’re probably hearing a steady supply of stories about kids with solid degrees from top schools, crippling student loan debt, and minimum wage jobs not in the least connected to their fields of study.

It's good that you appreciate their concerns, and unless you can reassure them that you’ll come out as well as you hope you will, I can’t imagine they’ll stop worrying.

You’ll need to counter all the scary anecdotes with a strong foundation of specific potential. If they look encouraging, share statistics on the successful employment rates of graduates from your preferred program. If the school has placement and proven career guidance services, let Mom and Dad know about that too. The more solid evidence you can give them of your imminent employability after you earn your master’s, the less fearful they may be about your future ability to repay a large loan.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I have only been married less than a year. He was married before, to his high school sweetheart, but after she dumped him for a coworker, he was pretty busted up. We met two years after the divorce was final, and he moved into my place while we were engaged.

I think I’m a pretty neat and organized person, but I always get the feeling that I’m never neat or organized enough for my husband. If I do something differently from the way his ex did, he finds a way to slip it in his comments to me, and it makes me feel like I never do anything right. Do you agree that he should let me do things my way, and not her way? --- DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED

DEAR DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED: It sounds as if your husband may not be completely over his first wife. If you haven’t already spoken to him about his habit of comparing you to her, then you need to as soon as you can. It’s up to you to remind him she’s no longer the one he’s married to, and you’re the one sharing a home with him — especially since it was your home first.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We just had our first baby, and for the first few weeks, while I was recovering from a c-section, it was great having both my and my husband’s parents around to help.

Now that I’m completely recovered and wanting to take over from here, all our helpers are still hanging around — as in all the time.

I really do appreciate their wanting to do what they can, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m practically not even allowed to take care of my own baby.

Is there something wrong with me that I don’t want all this around-the-clock help? --- HAD ENOUGH HELP

DEAR HAD ENOUGH HELP: In many ways you’re fortunate to have so much support in these early, often exhausting days of parenthood. But I can understand where it could get to be too much, and your growing nuclear family needs time to get used to your new life.

One way to find some middle ground might be to assign specified shifts to your helpful family members to stop by for their part of pitching in. A few hours a week would give you a little break and afford them not only a chance to help, but also affirmation that you appreciate what they’re so happy to do for you. Besides, like most newly-minted grandparents your folks need their grandbaby fix.