DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am very close to both sets of my grandparents, actually, all three, if you count my stepmom’s parents, who have been in my life since I was nine. Since I joined the air force, I have been sent to training all over the country, and have at least another six months on my current overseas tour.

Right after I got here, my mom told me her parents weren’t doing so well, and then my stepmother’s father had bypass surgery that wasn’t as successful as they hoped it would be, although he is doing better now.

I know these are all things that happen to people as they get older, but I’m having a hard time not being closer to home to visit and help, if I could, with the care of my grandparents. I haven’t said much to my parents, because I think it would put more pressure on them knowing how unhappy being away from home is making me right now, but I really want them to know I care and would be there if I could.

Do I say something, or suck it up until I can get leave and head home? --- AWAY FROM HOME BLUES

DEAR AWAY FROM HOME BLUES: Your service to your country is something in which you and your family should rightfully take pride. As hard as it is for you to be away from those you love during challenging times, it’s part of the military life package.

Until you can be with them again, take full advantage of phone calls, video chats, texts, and emails. Once in a while, sit down and put pen to paper, the old-fashioned way, and send letters to those you love and miss. Having something that you’ve actually held in your hands gives your distant loved ones something of you that they can hold onto. Telling them about what’s going on in your life might make those back home also feel a little less distant from you.

Don’t be shy about letting your folks know you’d be there if you could. It might give you all comfort to be open about how you’re feeling. And don’t miss a chance to tell them how much you love them, and they mean to you.

A little mushy can go a long way to soothe sore hearts.

Finally, don’t suffer in silence. There may be a number of people in place right where you’re posted that are trained to help service members over rough patches. You can also reach out to others in your situation. Together, you might find safe and sane ways to cope.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom and dad started their restaurant when my brothers and I were little. Both of my brothers have made it clear they don’t want to take the place over when my parents retire. I’m the youngest and the only girl, and in the culture my parents were both raised in, that means it all falls on me to make up for what my big brothers don’t want to do. Like them, though, I really don’t want to take over the restaurant in a few years when Mom and Dad retire. I’ve hinted at this, but don’t have the nerve to tell them outright.

Since it isn’t happening for years yet, do you think there’s any harm in letting it ride for a while? --- NOT INTERESTED

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: I think your parents need to know your intentions sooner rather than later. By being honest with them, you’re allowing them more time to consider their real options, rather than letting them go on believing their business’ future is settled.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My father and mother always kept their important papers and some jewelry in a safe deposit box at their bank. My mom passed away a few years ago and my dad late last fall. My older brother is the executor and he said he has looked in the safe deposit box and there isn’t anything of mine in there. I know that isn’t true, because there was a watch that was my grandfather’s that both he and my dad said would be mine when they were gone.

I know my brother has no interest in the watch other than what he can get for it by selling it. To me, it’s part of our family history and I want it so that I can pass it on to one of my own kids someday.

I spoke to my sister-in-law and she mentioned that my brother does have the watch and intends to sell it. She doesn’t agree with his decision, but she says that since he’s the executor and there’s nothing in the will specifically mentioning the watch, he figures he can do what he wants with it, so long as he divides the money evenly between him and me. I want the watch, but I don’t want to have to fight my brother for it. What else can I do to get my watch? --- WANT MY WATCH

DEAR WANT MY WATCH: This is the kind of situation that so often tears families apart after a close relative dies.

It sounds like you may have an ally in your sister-in-law. Perhaps she can help convince your brother that the right thing to do is to follow your father’s and grandfather’s wishes. However, if he claims he wasn’t aware of this long-standing promise, and if it’s not in the will, you might consider getting specific legal advice on what, if any, options you have in this situation.