life

Family Business Is Not for LW

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | March 6th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom and dad started their restaurant when my brothers and I were little. Both of my brothers have made it clear they don’t want to take the place over when my parents retire. I’m the youngest and the only girl, and in the culture my parents were both raised in, that means it all falls on me to make up for what my big brothers don’t want to do. Like them, though, I really don’t want to take over the restaurant in a few years when Mom and Dad retire. I’ve hinted at this, but don’t have the nerve to tell them outright.

Since it isn’t happening for years yet, do you think there’s any harm in letting it ride for a while? --- NOT INTERESTED

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: I think your parents need to know your intentions sooner rather than later. By being honest with them, you’re allowing them more time to consider their real options, rather than letting them go on believing their business’ future is settled.

Family & ParentingAging
life

"Missing" Heirloom Causes Rift Between Brothers

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | March 5th, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My father and mother always kept their important papers and some jewelry in a safe deposit box at their bank. My mom passed away a few years ago and my dad late last fall. My older brother is the executor and he said he has looked in the safe deposit box and there isn’t anything of mine in there. I know that isn’t true, because there was a watch that was my grandfather’s that both he and my dad said would be mine when they were gone.

I know my brother has no interest in the watch other than what he can get for it by selling it. To me, it’s part of our family history and I want it so that I can pass it on to one of my own kids someday.

I spoke to my sister-in-law and she mentioned that my brother does have the watch and intends to sell it. She doesn’t agree with his decision, but she says that since he’s the executor and there’s nothing in the will specifically mentioning the watch, he figures he can do what he wants with it, so long as he divides the money evenly between him and me. I want the watch, but I don’t want to have to fight my brother for it. What else can I do to get my watch? --- WANT MY WATCH

DEAR WANT MY WATCH: This is the kind of situation that so often tears families apart after a close relative dies.

It sounds like you may have an ally in your sister-in-law. Perhaps she can help convince your brother that the right thing to do is to follow your father’s and grandfather’s wishes. However, if he claims he wasn’t aware of this long-standing promise, and if it’s not in the will, you might consider getting specific legal advice on what, if any, options you have in this situation.

Family & ParentingMoney
life

Fed Up with Neighbor Kids

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | March 3rd, 2020

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I recently moved into a new home with our son who is seven. Across the street live three kids. The neighbor kids and my son were friendly at first, but then my son would tell me about the mean things the kids do to him.

One day, we caught one of the neighbor kids vandalizing our property. Both my husband and I told them not to come onto our property anymore. My husband also told the father.

A few weeks later, I caught the neighbor kids playing in our front yard. Again, I told them they are not welcome in our yard and they need to leave.

A few weeks after that incident, I was home with my son and when I looked out our front window, there were the neighbor kids riding scooters in and out of my driveway!

I marched outside and I stood in the driveway and I said, “Stop it, now. Stay out of my yard!”

The oldest kid got very mouthy and lied and said nobody was in my yard. Well, I had had enough at that point. I yelled very loudly and pretty angrily, “You stay out of my yard and driveway!! Don’t you ever step foot in my yard again!!” turned around and went inside. The mother immediately comes and bangs on my door and tells me not to yell at her kids anymore.

What is happening here? Don’t I have the right to tell kids to get out of my yard and stay out?? --- FED UP WITH NEIGHBOR KIDS

DEAR FED UP WITH NEIGHBOR KIDS: This is the type of situation that can escalate into a full-out feud all too quickly. It sounds like these kids thrive on getting a rise out of you, and based on their mother’s reaction, it’s not likely anything you say will convince her her kids are in the wrong.

Since you mentioned you and your husband caught the kids vandalizing your property, their behavior crosses the line from annoying to criminal. You can’t prove any wrongdoing from that particular incident, but I’d begin chronicling what’s happening in front of your house, on your private property. Take pictures and videos, and I wouldn’t be too shy about letting them know you’re doing so.

If they continue to use your driveway and damage your property, consider contacting the police, using their non-emergency number. A little official mediation might help, and a squad car showing up may be enough to let the family across the street know you’re taking what’s happening seriously.

Friends & Neighbors

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