DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though I get along pretty well with my mother-in-law, I really don’t want to live too close to her, and my husband keeps pushing our realtor to look in her neighborhood. For one thing, I don’t like the style of mid-century ranchers that are mostly what comes up on the market. Also, I don’t want to be so close to his folks that they can come over whenever they want. The only real plus is that the general area is a good commute for both of us. But is that enough to live the life of “Everybody Loves Raymond”? --- TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Sometimes there are advantages to having close family nearby, especially if young children are in the picture. But I also get your need for a little healthy distance.

Talk to your husband openly about your reservations, and also listen to his arguments in favor of the proximity. Perhaps you and your realtor could come up with a wider radius that offers a similar commute time, but also enough distance to allow you privacy and independence.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Of our five grandkids, only one lives near us. The others all are either away at school or starting life wherever their jobs take them.

We love all our grandkids evenly. We make sure we see the local one at least every couple of weeks, when we’ll go out to dinner, or my wife will take her shopping and get her something she needs for school, for instance.

When our oldest grandson was in for a visit at the holidays, we kind of spoiled him. He hadn’t been home for nearly two years, and we enjoyed the chance to be with him. When his married sister found out, she copped an attitude that all the other grandkids get all this attention and all these gifts, and she doesn’t get anything. She forgets when she was here since last summer we gave her the royal treatment too. And this isn’t the first time someone’s complained about what one of their siblings or cousins got that they didn’t.

Although we don’t get to do it on any kind of regular basis, we really make every effort to treat all our grandkids equally. How do we convince them all of this? --- LOVE ALL OUR GRANDKIDS THE SAME

DEAR LOVE ALL OUR GRANDKIDS THE SAME: Convincing relatives that they’re all being treated equally is an age-old issue. And, since your grandchildren are at different points in their lives, it’s hard to quantify what each one most needs or wants compared to what everyone else needs or wants.

It’s not likely you’re going to be able to persuade someone with their nose out of joint that you and your wife are doing your best to be fair to all. To try and smooth the ruffled feathers though, you might consider reminding your granddaughter she was not slighted when she visited, and that you sincerely do your best to make sure everyone is treated equitably when you get to spend time with them.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve done my share of diets, and know some work better than others.

Right now our oldest daughter is on a diet plan that seems a little extreme. Okay, more than a little extreme. She is probably taking in less than 1000 calories a day and then going to the gym at least four times a week for what even she describes as a grueling workout.

Her father, her husband, and I have all spoken to her about our fears that this is too extreme, especially since she is far from overweight. I want her to consult with a doctor and/or a nutritionist to make sure she is not killing herself, literally. Am I the wrong one here? --- MOTHER OF AN EXTREME DIETER

DEAR MOTHER OF AN EXTREME DIETER: Every few months, the world’s newest, greatest diet grabs headlines and followers. The vast majority of these programs can’t prove their worth and soon fade away. There are, however, a handful of tried and true programs, some which go back decades and have a proven track record.

Perhaps you, your son-in-law, and your daughter’s father should do some research, and then together, approach your daughter with both your concerns and some alternate programs for her to consider.

I also think your idea of having her get some professional and objective advice is a good one.