DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My friend and neighbor has started acting really weird the past couple of months. He doesn’t want to go out with me or any of his other friends, not even to a movie or for a quick meal. Since he lives in the apartment directly over mine, my roommate and I have both heard what sounds like furniture being moved around, sometimes really late at night. We keep asking him if he’s okay, and he keeps telling us he’s fine, but then he starts talking about all the strange things happening at his job, like that the boss keeps spying on him and his coworkers ignore him whenever he comes into the breakroom. He’s been at this job for three years, and he’s never before said anything like this was happening.

I know something is wrong, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I’ve known this guy for nearly seven years, and I’ve never known him to act this way. What can I do to get him to consider seeking help if he needs it? --- NERVOUS FRIEND

DEAR NERVOUS FRIEND: Withdrawing from friends and odd sleep patterns, as indicated by his late-night furniture moving, are concerning enough. It’s possible there really are some new issues at work, but what you mentioned sounds paranoid to me.

It’s clear you care about your friend, and you may need to be willing to put your friendship on the line for his wellbeing, if you truly believe something’s wrong. Approach him with your concerns and make it clear to him you’re around if he needs anything. Letting him know someone’s looking out for him might help.

Reaching out to his family, if you have contact information for them or can get it, would be another possible way to get him what he needs if he’s not well.

Your friend may need professional services, sooner rather than later if his behavior gets more out of what’s ordinary for him.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We have five grandchildren, two from one of our sons, and three from our daughter. We can buy anything reasonable for our son’s kids, but our daughter has forbidden us from buying any gender-specific toys for her girl and two boys. They’re only little kids, the oldest is five, and when they visit with their cousins or come to our house, they play with all different toys. It upsets our daughter because she says it will warp children to be around girl toys and boy toys.

Seems our own kids grew up just fine with gender-specific toys. How do we convince our daughter that there’s nothing wrong with the age-old practice? --- TRADITIONAL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA

DEAR TRADITIONAL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA: You may not agree with your daughter’s ideas, but she is the parent, and so long as her beliefs and policies don’t directly threaten the health and safety of your grandchildren, you need to respect her wishes.

Personally, my experience has been kids get the most out of toys when they have the freedom to choose what they want to play with — again, so long as safety comes first.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I remember my ex-wife complaining about how hard it is to dress little girls in clothes that don’t make them look like mini-hookers or rock stars. She must have done a really good job with our daughter, because I don’t remember any problems when she was little. When our daughter was a teenager, that was a different story, but not as a little girl.

My granddaughter just turned 8, and the outfits she shows up in make Madonna look modest. And forget about it if I say anything to my daughter! What can an old fart do to keep his granddaughter looking like a kid? --- OLD-FASHIONED GRANDPA

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED GRANDPA: Do you have any sense of who’s picking out your granddaughter’s wardrobe? If it’s your granddaughter’s choice, your daughter may be touchy because she too is not a fan of her child’s choices. If that’s the case, then you could try supporting your daughter in a crusade to remind your granddaughter she’s still a kid and should dress like one; not to mention that the grown-ups get to have the final say.

On the other hand, if the choices are your daughter’s, then it’s trickier, since she may see your concerns as a criticism of her parenting. You could try tagging along on a shopping trip to get a sense of things, and maybe also take advantage of the opportunity to make some gentle suggestions of items you think would look good on your granddaughter, without harping on their appropriateness.