DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We have five grandchildren, two from one of our sons, and three from our daughter. We can buy anything reasonable for our son’s kids, but our daughter has forbidden us from buying any gender-specific toys for her girl and two boys. They’re only little kids, the oldest is five, and when they visit with their cousins or come to our house, they play with all different toys. It upsets our daughter because she says it will warp children to be around girl toys and boy toys.

Seems our own kids grew up just fine with gender-specific toys. How do we convince our daughter that there’s nothing wrong with the age-old practice? --- TRADITIONAL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA

DEAR TRADITIONAL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA: You may not agree with your daughter’s ideas, but she is the parent, and so long as her beliefs and policies don’t directly threaten the health and safety of your grandchildren, you need to respect her wishes.

Personally, my experience has been kids get the most out of toys when they have the freedom to choose what they want to play with — again, so long as safety comes first.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I remember my ex-wife complaining about how hard it is to dress little girls in clothes that don’t make them look like mini-hookers or rock stars. She must have done a really good job with our daughter, because I don’t remember any problems when she was little. When our daughter was a teenager, that was a different story, but not as a little girl.

My granddaughter just turned 8, and the outfits she shows up in make Madonna look modest. And forget about it if I say anything to my daughter! What can an old fart do to keep his granddaughter looking like a kid? --- OLD-FASHIONED GRANDPA

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED GRANDPA: Do you have any sense of who’s picking out your granddaughter’s wardrobe? If it’s your granddaughter’s choice, your daughter may be touchy because she too is not a fan of her child’s choices. If that’s the case, then you could try supporting your daughter in a crusade to remind your granddaughter she’s still a kid and should dress like one; not to mention that the grown-ups get to have the final say.

On the other hand, if the choices are your daughter’s, then it’s trickier, since she may see your concerns as a criticism of her parenting. You could try tagging along on a shopping trip to get a sense of things, and maybe also take advantage of the opportunity to make some gentle suggestions of items you think would look good on your granddaughter, without harping on their appropriateness.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My partner grew up in what I think of as a weird home. His parents were raised by relatives who were super superstitious, and that’s how his parents raised him and his sister. She seems to have been able to move past all the silliness, but sometimes he drives me crazy with his need to follow “the old ways.” For instance, we got into a huge fight because I put my hat on the bed, and one time he went off because I brought home some pussy willows as part of a flower arrangement I was bringing to my mom. I never heard of this stuff until we started dating.

Isn’t it strange for an otherwise intelligent man to be ruled by old wives’ tales? --- HEAVEN FORBID I WHISTLE IN THE HOUSE

DEAR HEAVEN FORBID I WHISTLE IN THE HOUSE: In my experience, superstitions are attempts to exert control over an unpredictable world. Deep down inside, I think the majority of us foster some kind of superstition. Consider athletes and performers who practice their own personal rituals to help them, if not be positively perfect, at least to not screw up in front of their audiences.

It's unlikely you’re going to convince your partner to change his thinking on this topic. As long as his superstitions don’t overcome his ability to function normally, I say let him keep them. He’s certainly far from alone.