DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My partner grew up in what I think of as a weird home. His parents were raised by relatives who were super superstitious, and that’s how his parents raised him and his sister. She seems to have been able to move past all the silliness, but sometimes he drives me crazy with his need to follow “the old ways.” For instance, we got into a huge fight because I put my hat on the bed, and one time he went off because I brought home some pussy willows as part of a flower arrangement I was bringing to my mom. I never heard of this stuff until we started dating.

Isn’t it strange for an otherwise intelligent man to be ruled by old wives’ tales? --- HEAVEN FORBID I WHISTLE IN THE HOUSE

DEAR HEAVEN FORBID I WHISTLE IN THE HOUSE: In my experience, superstitions are attempts to exert control over an unpredictable world. Deep down inside, I think the majority of us foster some kind of superstition. Consider athletes and performers who practice their own personal rituals to help them, if not be positively perfect, at least to not screw up in front of their audiences.

It's unlikely you’re going to convince your partner to change his thinking on this topic. As long as his superstitions don’t overcome his ability to function normally, I say let him keep them. He’s certainly far from alone.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I like most of my husband’s friends, especially the ones he’s made on his job, but there are two guys from his old neighborhood who give me the creeps. Except that they grew up near each other, I don’t see anything they have in common with my husband. These guys are going nowhere fast, and every time they come over, they rag on my husband for being a “

*-whipped wimp.” If I say anything, my husband thinks I’m just prejudiced because I grew up in the “good part” of our city. I honestly don’t think that’s the case.

What I do know is that whenever he spends time with them, he comes home cussing and stinking of booze and weed, and he is usually so proud of how he pulled himself out of a bad environment, as am I.

Am I wrong to think these old friends are really no friends at all? --- CAN’T STAND HIS OLD FRIENDS

DEAR CAN’T STAND HIS OLD FRIENDS: That your husband hasn’t cut off his old buddies suggests he still feels the need to be connected to his roots. It’s possible that as he settles more into his new life away from what you consider a rougher start, he’ll move further away from the old crowd.

Another possibility is your husband may see himself as something of a lifeline for his old friends, and if he could change his circumstances, then maybe he can help them do so too.

Whatever the case, if you’ve made your feelings known, I’m not sure you’ll do any good to keep bringing up your disapproval each time the three old friends get together.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my dad was 16, my grandparents kicked him out of the house. He even admits he was one wild child, but he never forgave his parents and from then on, had as little to do with them as he could.

My grandfather passed away a few months ago and it left me pretty busted up. I was very close with him, and helped my mom take care of him in his last days. She has always gotten along really well with my grandparents and has always been a little mad at my dad for never working to heal the separation between him and his father. Now it’s too late.

I still live at home and every time my dad sees how sad I am, he badmouths my grandpa and it just makes me feel worse. Why can’t he just let it go and let me grieve for the man he gave up on over 30 years ago? --- GRIEVING GRANDSON

DEAR GRIEVING GRANDSON: There are some rifts that can never be closed, and some hurts that never heal. Even if you know some of the circumstances of your father’s split with his parents, you probably don’t know the whole story.

It may be that your father will never speak well of your grandfather. It could even be his way of grieving. Try and see past his resentment and pain, and allow yourself the time you need to miss your grandfather. Honor him in your own way, regardless of your father’s negativity.