DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend has always been a much bigger partyer than I am. He goes out with the guys a few times a month, and I never say anything.

This year my mother asked if we wanted to spend New Year’s Eve and Day with them. It’s the first holiday season without any of my grandparents around, and I think it would cheer my mom up a little to have us with her. But my boyfriend wants to do what he always does ─ go out with his friends and party until dawn, or later, and while I like being with him at midnight for the first kiss and all that, I really would rather be with my family this one time. Am I asking too much of him to give up one night of partying to have a family holiday? --- GIRLFRIEND OF A PARTYER

DEAR GIRLFRIEND OF A PARTYER: I don’t think you’re asking too much. Successful relationships are built on compromises big and small.

There’s no mention here about whether being with your family would mean a big trip, or just a hop in the car. If everyone’s local, why not suggest your boyfriend hang out with you and your family until midnight and that first kiss. After that, you can hunker down at Mom’s, and your boyfriend can join his friends and their celebrations already in progress.

If you would have to travel to be with your folks’, then that involves a whole different set of compromises, and if he agrees to hit the road with you, you might owe him an extra night or two out with the boys once the New Year gets started.

DEAR READERS: Today seems like the perfect time to say thank you to the letter writers, readers, and commenters out there. You all keep me on my toes, and while I don’t always get to read every comment, I do try to get a feel for your reactions. Sometimes you agree with my responses, others, not so much. Even when you call me out on my advice it’s all good, because I’m constantly learning, and the more perspectives put out there, the better.

As to be expected, there’re plenty of snark mongers who like to have their say. Reluctant as I may be to admit it, they’ve been known to make me laugh on occasion. And frequently, I’m quite moved by the many kind, generous, and courageous people who take time to talk about their experiences and share the wisdom and knowledge they’ve picked up along a sometimes painful and bumpy road.

To you all I send best wishes for a Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Joyous Kwanzaa; and if you don’t observe any of the above, I hope you too have much to celebrate. --- SUSAN

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I get along really well with my new girlfriend’s dad and her two brothers. They all seem really tight and it’s a lot of fun hanging out with them.

What’s kind of weird is that there is never any mention about a mom, no photos, no anything. I feel funny asking what the story is, but I do want to know. Would it be wrong to ask? --- WONDERING ABOUT THE MISSING MOM

DEAR WONDERING ABOUT THE MISSING MOM: My guess is there’s a good reason the family in general, and your girlfriend in particular, hasn’t shared anything about the absent mother. What I think would be best is to wait until someone’s ready to make their family story your business, maybe after you stick around for a while. There’s a good chance the situation is painful, so be patient and don’t press in the meantime.