DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend has always been a much bigger partyer than I am. He goes out with the guys a few times a month, and I never say anything.
This year my mother asked if we wanted to spend New Year’s Eve and Day with them. It’s the first holiday season without any of my grandparents around, and I think it would cheer my mom up a little to have us with her. But my boyfriend wants to do what he always does ─ go out with his friends and party until dawn, or later, and while I like being with him at midnight for the first kiss and all that, I really would rather be with my family this one time. Am I asking too much of him to give up one night of partying to have a family holiday? --- GIRLFRIEND OF A PARTYER
DEAR GIRLFRIEND OF A PARTYER: I don’t think you’re asking too much. Successful relationships are built on compromises big and small.
There’s no mention here about whether being with your family would mean a big trip, or just a hop in the car. If everyone’s local, why not suggest your boyfriend hang out with you and your family until midnight and that first kiss. After that, you can hunker down at Mom’s, and your boyfriend can join his friends and their celebrations already in progress.
If you would have to travel to be with your folks’, then that involves a whole different set of compromises, and if he agrees to hit the road with you, you might owe him an extra night or two out with the boys once the New Year gets started.