DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One reason I have begun to really hate the holidays is that I come from a family where almost everyone goes all out and spends too much money on gifts for everyone, and then expects big and/or expensive gifts in return.

I am one of the only ones in my family who doesn’t buy into the overspending. I am all for exchanging gifts, but honestly, I do not want to go into debt that takes half a year to pay off like some of them do.

Whenever the topic comes up among the family, one of my brothers, a cousin, and I come down on what everyone else thinks is the wrong side of the issue.

Is there anything wrong with keeping the gift giving reasonable? --- NOT CHEAP, JUST PRACTICAL

DEAR NOT CHEAP, JUST PRACTICAL: You’re always going to find someone who believes the value of the relationship is reflected in the cost of the gift. It sounds like you, your brother, and your cousin have made a reasonable decision, and you should stick to it and not feel pressured to go into hock every year.

One tradition some families I know have, and it might be worth putting it out there for yours, is to do a Secret Santa, where everyone’s assigned one person in the circle for which to buy. Often, there are cost limits to work within, so ideally, the playing field is more even.

It still might be a hard sell, but it could also be a way for others in the family who are reluctant to buck the majority to jump on your bandwagon.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After my second baby I gained about 30 lbs. that just won’t go away. So, I’ve been on a diet that works perfectly outside the office, but when I’m at work, it’s a constant challenge. I work with a bunch of fit, young guys who are always bringing in all the wrong kind of snacks for someone on a diet. I keep telling them to have mercy on me and at least cut back on the amount of goodies they bring in.

I try to be strong, but when the stress gets to me, it’s too easy to pick at the cookies and chips. Any idea how to combat the temptations? --- DIETER IN SNACKLAND

DEAR DIETER IN SNACKLAND: How about fighting fire with fire, or at least cookies with crisp veggies?

If it’s the usual practice to have snack food laying around, supply some that you can safely enjoy and that your snack-happy coworkers may benefit from as well. Bring elements of your diet into the mix with veggie chips, nuts, or whatever you’d choose at home to appease your growling stomach.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our oldest son got married earlier this year and our middle child moved to his own apartment. We still have our youngest, a high school senior, living with us.

I’m about to start writing out Christmas cards (yes, we still send them out!) and I’m stumped as to how I should sign the cards. I used to put everyone’s names on them, and have the kids sign the cards to the closest relatives, like their grandparents and aunts and uncles.

I have no idea if the two older boys are going to send out cards, but I don’t want to have it look like they’re not part of the family. It’s a small thing I know, but how do you think I should sign the cards this year? --- CURIOUS CARD SENDER

DEAR CURIOUS CARD SENDER: If you think it would look odd to have just your and your still at-home child’s names on the card, why not go with the trusty, generic “The _______ Family” or simply “The _________s”? It covers everyone, and takes less time to write.

As to cards for the close, older relatives, hopefully your flown-the-coop kids will think to send their own. Electronic/social media greetings are one thing for friends and more distant relatives, but when it comes to close, older family members, who may not be computer savvy, the good old-fashioned variety greeting card still means something.