DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know I’m supposed to be happy and busy and out spending money this time of year, but I am just not in that frame of mind. My new job doesn’t pay that much and because I haven’t been there long enough to earn much PTO, I won’t be able to get home for Christmas. Not much to be excited about, so why should I be? --- DOWN ON THE HOLIDAYS

DEAR DOWN ON THE HOLIDAYS: A lot of us have trouble fitting into the projections of what we’re supposed to do and feel this time of year. It’s easy to get sucked into and spit out by it all, but you have to do what’s right for you. Hopefully your family understands your circumstances and will look forward to a visit with you at a more opportune time.

Please don’t feel pressure to overspend and put on a jolly face. You don’t have to do either. Look around you at work and in your social world. You may find others in your situation, and together you might be able to form a support system to get through the high-pressured days ahead.

NOTE FROM MOM: Today is the day to give thanks, not for what we don’t have, but for what’s good in our lives.

Please reach out to those you care about and let them know how much they mean to you. The contact will do you both good.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and all my readers/commenters/letter writers. I appreciate you all!

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have taught Sunday school for the past fifteen years and recently I was asked to fill in for the youth ministry leader, who was on maternity leave.

I grew up in the 60s and 70s, so I don’t shock easily, but some of the things I heard these kids talking about in our discussion group made me cringe. These kids talked openly ─ in front of an adult who’s known them since they were little ─ about sex, alcohol, drugs, social media stalking and slanders, and more topics than I can remember ─ or care to!

What are the odds these kids were putting on a show for the old Sunday schoolmarm, or is this for real? And if it’s for real, how much do you suppose their parents know? --- SHOCKED TO THE CHOIRLOFT

DEAR SHOCKED TO THE CHOIRLOFT: I suspect you were treated to at least equal parts fact and fiction. While I wouldn’t venture to guess how much kids have changed over the years as far as what they do or don’t do, there certainly seems to be a greater level of openness and lack of self-consciousness among many, and the expectation that everyone is largely unfiltered.

How much their parents know is anyone’s guess, as is how much they’d care to know, and a fair topic for you to take up with their usual adult leader.

Consider your stint as fly-on-the-wall as a chance to gain both a little knowledge and wisdom, which may give you new insights as a religious instructor.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandmother passed a few years ago, and last spring, the retriever she and my grandfather had since the dog was a pup also died. That left Grandpa all alone, which I don’t think he’s ever been in his whole life.

I want to get him another dog to keep him company, but my parents keep saying they don’t think it’s a good idea, because Grandpa is getting up there and taking care of a dog may not be the best thing for him. I disagree and think they would see how good it is for him if we got him a dog.

Who do you think is right here? --- GRANDPA NEEDS A BUDDY

DEAR GRANDPA NEEDS A BUDDY: It’s sometimes easy to over- or underestimate the abilities of our loved ones as they age.

Your parents may be aware of issues your grandfather is facing that might make pet ownership not in his best interest right now. Talk with them about the specifics of why they feel as they do.

Since you believe you have a valid argument for how much good a pet would be for your grandfather, perhaps together with your parents, you can come up with options, like a different kind of lower-maintenance pet; a dog beyond the demands of puppyhood; or, if practical, a dog specifically trained to be a companion for an older owner.

Finally, bring your grandfather into the discussion. He’ll have his own views on the subject, and you and your parents need to hear what he has to say.