DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am a live-in au pair to three young children, between the ages of one and five, who are beyond terrific and have really snagged my heart. I am also too embarrassed to tell even my best friends that I have a huge crush on my employer, their dad. I hardly ever see his wife since she’s an ER doctor and works long and weird hours, which is one reason they hired me. The dad is in school administration, so he has a lot of night meetings, which is another reason I have this job. It is usually the dad I see much more than the mom and he is possibly the hottest guy I know.

I am not looking to start anything with him, especially since I do not think he is at all interested in me, but I sometimes think I would be better finding another job so nothing can happen. Is that too radical a move over a crush? --- WORKING FOR ONE HOT DAD

DEAR WORKING FOR ONE HOT DAD: If you can keep tight tabs on your feelings, and it really is just a crush, then it may not be worth giving up a job you enjoy. However ─ and it’s one big however ─ if you believe your attraction to him is something you can’t help but act on, then hand in your notice immediately and find a new job.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My parents immigrated from Serbia a few years before I was born. They had a rough time over there, and not the easiest when they arrived here. They continue to be very suspicious of both the government and big business. They have a small checking account so they can pay their bills, but the bulk of their money is kept “hidden” in their apartment, which isn’t in the best neighborhood in our city.

Both of my brothers and I have talked to them about how dangerous this could be, but we don’t make any headway. Any suggestions to help convince them this is not the best way to go? --- FIRST-GENERATION WORRIER

DEAR FIRST-GENERATION WORRIER: This is a story as old as immigration itself. My mother, who was also first generation, told similar tales of relatives stashing cash, rather than depositing it safely in a bank.

It might help if you and your brothers could convince your parents to sit down with someone at the bank where they have their checking account. A one-on-one explanation of the benefits and safety of FDIC-insured savings accounts could be a step towards helping them understand that not only would their money be safer, but could actually accrue interest.

Besides big banks, there are also plenty of established, well-run credit unions, which, for your skeptical parents, might feel a little less overwhelming than a national or multinational institution.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and I are retired, and we watch our daughters’ twin three-year-olds four days a week while she’s at work. She is a PA in a hospital and works long hours, plus has a pretty long commute, so we usually end up with the kids overnight, depending on the shift she’s working.

We love our grandkids and being able to help our daughter, who is a single mom right now. The dad’s pretty much out of the picture, which we’re not at all fussed about. What we’re struggling with is that we set up a routine and rules of behavior that fly out the window on the three days a week our daughter is home with them. Come the first day we have them back, it’s up to us to get these little girls back on track, and it gets frustrating.

My wife thinks our daughter feels guilty about being away from them so much, so she spoils them. To me that’s just a bigger argument behind keeping things more regular for the kids. I’ve spoken to our daughter about how much she undoes what we’re doing, and she just tells me she’ll raise her kids the way she wants to. Am I wrong here, or is she? --- FRUSTRATED GRANDPA

DEAR FRUSTRATED GRANDPA: It sounds like you and your wife are partners with you daughter in raising your grandchildren, and I agree with your wife that your daughter may feel the need to compensate for time away from her girls. Ultimately though, she’s their mother and entitled to make her own rules ─ or not ─ as frustrating as it is for you and your wife.

To hopefully make the caregiving transitions go a bit smoother, you can try working more closely with your daughter to keep her fully in the loop about how you and your wife manage things while she’s at work, and ask her to let you know what her parenting plan is on her watch.