DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My parents immigrated from Serbia a few years before I was born. They had a rough time over there, and not the easiest when they arrived here. They continue to be very suspicious of both the government and big business. They have a small checking account so they can pay their bills, but the bulk of their money is kept “hidden” in their apartment, which isn’t in the best neighborhood in our city.

Both of my brothers and I have talked to them about how dangerous this could be, but we don’t make any headway. Any suggestions to help convince them this is not the best way to go? --- FIRST-GENERATION WORRIER

DEAR FIRST-GENERATION WORRIER: This is a story as old as immigration itself. My mother, who was also first generation, told similar tales of relatives stashing cash, rather than depositing it safely in a bank.

It might help if you and your brothers could convince your parents to sit down with someone at the bank where they have their checking account. A one-on-one explanation of the benefits and safety of FDIC-insured savings accounts could be a step towards helping them understand that not only would their money be safer, but could actually accrue interest.

Besides big banks, there are also plenty of established, well-run credit unions, which, for your skeptical parents, might feel a little less overwhelming than a national or multinational institution.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and I are retired, and we watch our daughters’ twin three-year-olds four days a week while she’s at work. She is a PA in a hospital and works long hours, plus has a pretty long commute, so we usually end up with the kids overnight, depending on the shift she’s working.

We love our grandkids and being able to help our daughter, who is a single mom right now. The dad’s pretty much out of the picture, which we’re not at all fussed about. What we’re struggling with is that we set up a routine and rules of behavior that fly out the window on the three days a week our daughter is home with them. Come the first day we have them back, it’s up to us to get these little girls back on track, and it gets frustrating.

My wife thinks our daughter feels guilty about being away from them so much, so she spoils them. To me that’s just a bigger argument behind keeping things more regular for the kids. I’ve spoken to our daughter about how much she undoes what we’re doing, and she just tells me she’ll raise her kids the way she wants to. Am I wrong here, or is she? --- FRUSTRATED GRANDPA

DEAR FRUSTRATED GRANDPA: It sounds like you and your wife are partners with you daughter in raising your grandchildren, and I agree with your wife that your daughter may feel the need to compensate for time away from her girls. Ultimately though, she’s their mother and entitled to make her own rules ─ or not ─ as frustrating as it is for you and your wife.

To hopefully make the caregiving transitions go a bit smoother, you can try working more closely with your daughter to keep her fully in the loop about how you and your wife manage things while she’s at work, and ask her to let you know what her parenting plan is on her watch.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Last Halloween, a group of kids spray-painted cuss words on the street and several trees in our neighborhood. We had only moved in a few weeks before, and we didn’t really know any of the neighbors. Since then, we’ve made friends with several, and although our kids are still very young, it’s mostly teenagers who live in the houses closest to ours.

One of the teenagers who sometimes babysits for us told me that there are plans to take the graffiti a step further this year and hit the library down the street, and the elementary school where our daughter goes to kindergarten. She told me who came up with this idea, and it’s the twin sons of the people who live two doors down.

Do I say something to their parents? I don’t like the idea of curse words being sprayed all over our neighborhood, much less on the library and elementary school. --- DO I TELL?

DEAR DO I TELL: Old-school Halloween pranks like doorbell ringing and toilet-papering someone’s shrubs are generally harmless. What you’re talking about is vandalism, and that’s criminal.

Since you’re working on hearsay, even if it’s from what you consider a reliable source, rather than confronting the parents of the potential spray-painters, you might want to notify your HOA or neighborhood watch, if you have one. Also contacting the local police that there are rumors of upcoming destructive activities might result in a heightened police presence that could serve as a deterrent to the would-be vandals.