DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I know it’s important to my wife that I be an involved dad, and I really am trying to be, but I’m having a hard time making it to all the appointments scheduled with the pediatrician, like I was able to do with the obstetrician while my wife was expecting. It seems like most of those appointments were in the evening, but the pediatrician ones always seem to be between 9 and 5, the hours I work. Plus, I have nearly an hour commute each way, so my PTO is getting chewed into, and we can’t afford for me to take unpaid time right now since I’m the only one making money.

Does begging off going to every doctor’s appointment mean I’m not an involved dad? --- CONFUSED NEW DAD

DEAR CONFUSED NEW DAD: Unless there are unusual concerns with your new baby that might require special attention or medical care beyond well-baby check-ups, then being at every appointment is not more important than keeping the bills paid.

Tell your wife that if all’s well with your baby, then you have confidence in her handling the routine doctor’s visits. It may be that she needs to know she’s doing just fine in managing your growing family. Sometimes a little self-confidence goes a long way.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was out with my teenage daughter and one of her friends shopping recently, and I happened to see my daughter’s friend slip a pair of earrings she pulled off the display card into her purse. She did it so quickly and easily that I can only guess this wasn’t the first time.

This truly disturbed me, but I don’t know what to do about telling my daughter what I saw. For one thing, if her friend is stealing, how do I know my daughter isn’t too? Do I bring it up to my daughter, or just let it slide? --- UNHAPPY WITNESS

DEAR UNHAPPY WITNESS: It seems to me that saying something about what you saw to your daughter serves two purposes. First, it lets her know what her friend’s up to; second, it puts your daughter on notice that you’re not entirely clueless, even if she hopes you are.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my closest friends got divorced earlier this year. She and her husband were not a good match to begin with, at least that’s what most of our friends always thought, so it was no surprise when they split.

We all felt kind of sorry for her when she went through the divorce, but now it seems she spends all her time trying to bust up other people’s marriages and relationships. She makes all these nasty comments about our husbands/boyfriends, and even tries to dig up dirt to prove how sh----y the guys are. I can get that she’s feeling angry and sad, but the way she acts is just so out-there that some of us have stopped asking her to hang out with us.

I feel bad about joining the others, but I am getting to hate all her negativity and meanness. I guess that makes me a bad friend, doesn’t it? --- READY TO CUT AND RUN

DEAR READY TO CUT AND RUN: I’m guessing your friend is living the old adage “misery loves company”. She seems to be setting up her own Catch-22 in which she probably needs to be around people while she recovers from her divorce, but so far she’s doing an outstanding job of pushing away her support system.

Maybe it’s time you and some of your other friends lay it out for her that you’ll be glad to hang out with her if she can avoid putting down her friends’ relationships. Giving her a nudge toward a different track might help her break her unfortunate cycle.