DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my closest friends got divorced earlier this year. She and her husband were not a good match to begin with, at least that’s what most of our friends always thought, so it was no surprise when they split.
We all felt kind of sorry for her when she went through the divorce, but now it seems she spends all her time trying to bust up other people’s marriages and relationships. She makes all these nasty comments about our husbands/boyfriends, and even tries to dig up dirt to prove how sh----y the guys are. I can get that she’s feeling angry and sad, but the way she acts is just so out-there that some of us have stopped asking her to hang out with us.
I feel bad about joining the others, but I am getting to hate all her negativity and meanness. I guess that makes me a bad friend, doesn’t it? --- READY TO CUT AND RUN
DEAR READY TO CUT AND RUN: I’m guessing your friend is living the old adage “misery loves company”. She seems to be setting up her own Catch-22 in which she probably needs to be around people while she recovers from her divorce, but so far she’s doing an outstanding job of pushing away her support system.
Maybe it’s time you and some of your other friends lay it out for her that you’ll be glad to hang out with her if she can avoid putting down her friends’ relationships. Giving her a nudge toward a different track might help her break her unfortunate cycle.