DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my closest friends got divorced earlier this year. She and her husband were not a good match to begin with, at least that’s what most of our friends always thought, so it was no surprise when they split.

We all felt kind of sorry for her when she went through the divorce, but now it seems she spends all her time trying to bust up other people’s marriages and relationships. She makes all these nasty comments about our husbands/boyfriends, and even tries to dig up dirt to prove how sh----y the guys are. I can get that she’s feeling angry and sad, but the way she acts is just so out-there that some of us have stopped asking her to hang out with us.

I feel bad about joining the others, but I am getting to hate all her negativity and meanness. I guess that makes me a bad friend, doesn’t it? --- READY TO CUT AND RUN

DEAR READY TO CUT AND RUN: I’m guessing your friend is living the old adage “misery loves company”. She seems to be setting up her own Catch-22 in which she probably needs to be around people while she recovers from her divorce, but so far she’s doing an outstanding job of pushing away her support system.

Maybe it’s time you and some of your other friends lay it out for her that you’ll be glad to hang out with her if she can avoid putting down her friends’ relationships. Giving her a nudge toward a different track might help her break her unfortunate cycle.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I enjoy going out with “Sara”. She’s one of my oldest friends and we get together a couple times a month. I always suggest a place to meet and eat, or a movie to go to, or a party I’ve heard about, but she always tells me she’d rather do something else she already had planned.

In some ways I don’t mind, but once in a while it would be nice to do something I suggest. Is that being selfish? --- NEVER GET TO PICK

DEAR NEVER GET TO PICK: Wanting to have your turn in planning activities with a friend isn’t selfish. It sounds like “Sara” may be someone who prefers to be in control; but compromise is key to a successful relationship.

You need to be more assertive and make what you said above clear to her. When your next get-together rolls around, tell her you’ve already made reservations, and that she gets to pick next time.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My granddaughter is expecting her first baby, and she just invited my husband and me to a “gender reveal” party. I’d never heard of this before and didn’t know if this is the new baby shower, or if there will be another event.

I don’t want to seem cheap, but we live on a kind of tight budget and I don’t know if I’ll be expected to give a gift for two parties or just one. I don’t want to embarrass my granddaughter or myself by asking. Would it be tacky if I did just so I know if I need to do one big or two smaller gifts? --- BAFFLED GRANDMA-TO-BE

DEAR BAFFLED GRANDMA-TO-BE: I only became aware of the gender reveal party trend within the last year, so don’t feel bad about being out of the loop.

Since you want to be able to budget for gifts for your grandbaby but feel awkward asking about a shower, I’d say go modest for the gender reveal party. Then, if there isn’t a shower, give the gift you would have given when the baby arrives.