DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been waiting tables and bartending in a family-run restaurant for nearly five years. It’s a real mom and pop operation. He’s the chef and she’s the manager. They even have their pre-teen kids help out with things like wrapping silver and setting up salad dressings when they come in with their mom in the evening, which we servers really appreciate.

Over the past month or so I noticed my boss has been acting kind of weird. He is usually real easy-going, but lately he gets mad about stupid stuff. I started hearing stories about him and the new hostess maybe having a thing, and I didn’t want to believe it, until I had to, when I saw them making out behind the building one night. They didn’t see me, I’m pretty sure, and I haven’t said anything to anybody at the restaurant. But it kills me every time his wife comes in, especially with the kids. I really, really want to say something to her, but do you agree with my better judgment to keep my mouth shut? --- KEEPING QUIET

DEAR KEEPING QUIET: I can certainly understand your discomfort, but keeping your observations to yourself is probably in your best interest. Enough tongues will wag, particularly if everyone is beginning to see changes in the chef. If things get tense enough, you might want to keep a lookout for another place to work, since it won’t take much for this situation to go from bad to way worse very quickly.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I think it’s kind of weird that my mother stays in touch with my ex-girlfriend. We only went together for about a year and a half, and now Mom texts and talks to her pretty regularly. Doesn’t it seem weird? --- NOT LIKING THIS

DEAR NOT LIKING THIS: A year and a half is certainly enough time for your ex and your mother to have developed a relationship of their own. So long as your mom isn’t holding her up as some kind of standard of perfection against which all other girlfriends are judged, you should just let it go.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am seeing a guy who works with a bunch of former military types. To say they cuss a lot is an understatement. When my boyfriend comes over to my house for a meal or to hang out, he keeps the cussing up, even in front of my 83-year-old grandma. I pretty much try to screen it out and my dad has said something to him a couple of times, but I know it really bugs my mom, and I’ve seen the look on my grandmother’s face more than once when he keeps dropping F bombs.

I’ve asked him to tone it down, but he doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong. What more can I do? --- WITH A ROUGH ONE

DEAR WITH A ROUGH ONE: There seems to be a diminishing awareness, or concern, that not everyone is okay with constant cussing. Your parents and grandma aren’t alone. Personally, it bugs me too. It is possible to exert some effort to modify your vocabulary in certain circumstances. Your boyfriend’s lack of effort shows disrespect to your family, and if you can’t persuade him that he needs to tone it down ─ even after being spoken to by your dad ─ then it might be better if you limit his exposure to your parents and grandmother. I doubt he’s scoring any points with them based on his conversational skills anyway.