DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been waiting tables and bartending in a family-run restaurant for nearly five years. It’s a real mom and pop operation. He’s the chef and she’s the manager. They even have their pre-teen kids help out with things like wrapping silver and setting up salad dressings when they come in with their mom in the evening, which we servers really appreciate.
Over the past month or so I noticed my boss has been acting kind of weird. He is usually real easy-going, but lately he gets mad about stupid stuff. I started hearing stories about him and the new hostess maybe having a thing, and I didn’t want to believe it, until I had to, when I saw them making out behind the building one night. They didn’t see me, I’m pretty sure, and I haven’t said anything to anybody at the restaurant. But it kills me every time his wife comes in, especially with the kids. I really, really want to say something to her, but do you agree with my better judgment to keep my mouth shut? --- KEEPING QUIET
DEAR KEEPING QUIET: I can certainly understand your discomfort, but keeping your observations to yourself is probably in your best interest. Enough tongues will wag, particularly if everyone is beginning to see changes in the chef. If things get tense enough, you might want to keep a lookout for another place to work, since it won’t take much for this situation to go from bad to way worse very quickly.