DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My father is a very generous man. He has offered to hire a live-in nanny to help us out when our second baby arrives in two months. My wife is dead set against it, and I don’t entirely get why. She keeps saying her mother managed four kids without a nanny, and she doesn’t like the idea of having someone else in the house with us all the time.

I keep trying to tell her it will be good to have a chance to recover from the pregnancy and delivery, but she just wants her mom to come stay with us for two or three weeks and then she wants to get back to it being just the four of us. Why would anyone not want to have help with two kids? I don’t get it. --- CONFUSED SON AND HUSBAND

DEAR CONFUSED SON AND HUSBAND: While it seems like an ideal situation to you to have hired help for your growing family, it sounds as if your wife has already worked out an arrangement that she’s more comfortable with. Things may change down the road, but for now, you and your dad need to respect her wishes and put the live-in nanny idea on the back burner.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I don’t think it’s too much to ask, but my husband keeps telling me to just wait. For the last year and a half we have been living in the house he and his ex-wife bought. Her decorating tastes are totally different from mine, and the house is not near either of our jobs.

I keep trying to show my husband houses I find online that would cost less than this one and I know we can get more than enough money to buy something different when we sell it. The same house two blocks away just sold for almost $50,000 more than the houses I am looking at.

What can I do to get him to see that there’s no reason to stay here? --- HE WON’T BUDGE

DEAR HE WON’T BUDGE: Maybe it’s time to consult a realtor to get accurate information on the current real estate market in your area. Gather as much solid data as you can and start visiting open houses in both your neighborhood as well as your target areas.

In the meantime, start replacing some of the decor in your home with items in your own taste that you can relocate when the time comes.

Taking some concrete steps might help convince your husband you mean business.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have DeQuervain Syndrome and arthritis, which cause excruciating pain in my hands and wrists. I sometimes wear medically prescribed braces for the condition. Other times, I don’t need to wear braces. Certain motions, including gripping, twisting, and shaking hands cause huge pain flare-ups and weakness. I also have an immune condition that necessitates that I avoid germs when possible.

I have been in professional and personal situations where it is customary to shake hands. Even when I’m wearing my braces (on both hands), people still feel the need to try and shake my hand. How do I politely decline shaking hands without explaining my medical condition or making excuses? How else can I handle this situation? I’m tired of shaking hands just to be PC and suffering the consequences. --- LOSING MY GRIP

DEAR LOSING MY GRIP: I’ve known others in your situation, and it is not an easy one to deal with.

The Arthritis Foundation has some interesting options for those suffering with hand and wrist disabilities. At least two seemed pretty viable tactics I can see working in many situations. The first is to initiate the handshake yourself by taking the other person’s right hand in both of yours and giving a light squeeze. The other suggestion I like is to make sure your hands are “full” when it’s introduction or greeting time by holding objects that you can easily manage, even on particularly painful days. I’d further refine this second technique by suggesting you use your prop tissue to apply to your “runny” nose.

My other recommendation is, if you haven’t already, have a candid talk with your doctors and/or physical therapists. They often have tips they’ve picked up from other patients, which have the added benefit of getting the stamp of approval from medical professionals.