DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: For four years, including a couple of summers, I was in charge of my life. After I graduated in May, I had to move back home until I can find a job that pays enough to support me.

I’m not used to having to tell someone all my plans once I step out of the house. My mom always wants to know if I’m going to be home for dinner, when I’m going to get in at night, who I’m hanging out with. It’s like I’m 15 again, and I can’t stand it. How do I tell my mom to back off? --- SMOTHERED SON

DEAR SMOTHERED SON: I’m betting you’re not the only one making an adjustment here. One way to help things go smoother, at least for the hopefully short time your back home, is to clearly share what your respective expectations are.

Your mom needs to work on accepting you as an adult, but that would be easier if you act like a courteous, responsible grownup. There’s no reason you can’t give her an idea of your schedule so she can do her meal planning. Also, your being out late or overnight might bug her less if she knows that’s what you’re intending to do. Moms are natural worriers. It comes with the territory �─ no matter how old our kids get.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I have been married for 8 years. Over 5 years ago, I made the decision to remove myself from social media, my husband soon followed suit, completely on his own. We have since had many wonderful life experiences, including having two adorable children. We still choose to stay off social media, sharing very little of our life outside our immediate family and friends. We will share an occasional picture of our kids with our parents via group text message.  

When our son was born, I made it very clear to all of our family that when I share pictures with them, it is for their enjoyment only and not for them to post to social media. This came about because my husband’s step-grandmother posted a picture of our 5-week-old son to Facebook without our consent. We did not send the picture directly to her.  

In any event, everyone now knows our wishes, and from what I can tell, they are respecting our boundaries. However, recently, my mother-in-law sent a group message to me and my family (the same group we generally share pictures with) of a picture my husband sent just to her. Immediately after she sent it, she wrote another message, “Oops, that was meant for someone else.” This bothered me because it means that she is sharing OUR photos of OUR life with other people. It’s not hers to share.

When I brought this to my husband’s attention, he brushed it off like I was overreacting, but I don’t think I’m out of line here. She did not ask if we were okay with her passing on our pictures, and we hardly know this person she was passing the picture on to. Not to mention we have no idea how much she is sharing with others that we are unaware of.

Do you think it’s reasonable to address this with my mother-in-law? Is it reasonable for me to be upset that she’s sharing our life and our pictures without our consent? --- STOP SHARING MY LIFE!

DEAR STOP SHARING MY LIFE!: This is one of those situations created by modern technology. In the “old days” ─ like back when you were a kid ─ your mother-in-law would have whipped out and shared printed photographs of her grandchildren every chance she had. What proud grandma can resist showing off her beloved grandchildren?

With that in mind, cut her a little slack this time, and then politely, but firmly, remind her of your policies. It’s understandable that you want to keep your family’s private life private. You’ve shared your boundaries, perhaps now, if you haven’t already done so, share the reasons you established them in the first place; and make sure your husband is still on the same page as you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’ve heard from three of my friends who interned at this lab I have been offered a job at that they don’t treat their staff very well. But the program I applied to and was asked to join is one of the few in the country that fits in perfectly with my education and interests. It’s the kind of experience that could really work for me and advance my career.

How much should I consider my friends’ warnings when I decide whether or not to take the lab’s offer? --- NOT SURE WHICH WAY TO GO

DEAR NOT SURE WHICH WAY TO GO: If your friends’ only experience working at the lab was in the capacity of interns, they may have a fairly narrow view of life there.

If there aren’t any on-line ratings for the company that runs the lab, to get a wider view of working conditions, you might try reaching out to someone who either works there currently or has been there in the recent past in positions other than temporary interns.

Even if you hear less than glowing reviews, you need to keep in mind the high level of fit this job offers you and your career goals. It might be worth putting up with less than ideal conditions ─ provided your health, safety, or good name aren’t compromised ─ for at least long enough to gain experience that could pay off down the road.