DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: For four years, including a couple of summers, I was in charge of my life. After I graduated in May, I had to move back home until I can find a job that pays enough to support me.
I’m not used to having to tell someone all my plans once I step out of the house. My mom always wants to know if I’m going to be home for dinner, when I’m going to get in at night, who I’m hanging out with. It’s like I’m 15 again, and I can’t stand it. How do I tell my mom to back off? --- SMOTHERED SON
DEAR SMOTHERED SON: I’m betting you’re not the only one making an adjustment here. One way to help things go smoother, at least for the hopefully short time your back home, is to clearly share what your respective expectations are.
Your mom needs to work on accepting you as an adult, but that would be easier if you act like a courteous, responsible grownup. There’s no reason you can’t give her an idea of your schedule so she can do her meal planning. Also, your being out late or overnight might bug her less if she knows that’s what you’re intending to do. Moms are natural worriers. It comes with the territory �─ no matter how old our kids get.