life

Penny-Pinching Ways Bother New Wife

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 11th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We helped pay for our wedding, and shortly after that, we used all the gift money we got from the wedding to help put a down payment on a three-bedroom condo.

That was nearly a year ago, and even though we make OK money combined, my husband doesn’t want to spend any money on anything other than the very essentials. We barely go out. Our house has nearly no furniture, and all we have in the kitchen to work with is the stuff I got for my shower or off our bridal registry.

I get his wanting to be careful with money, but every time I bring up our going out or spending something on the house, he shoots it down, saying we can’t afford it. If I ask him when he thinks we’ll be able to afford it, he gets angry and walks away.

I don’t want to fight about money, but this seems strange to me. Is it? --- BRIDE OF A FRUGAL GROOM

DEAR BRIDE OF A FRUGAL GROOM: How a couple manages their finances is a core component in any marriage, and right now, it sounds like you two are on different pages. If you can’t come to an agreement on a basic philosophy of how to use your money, there’ll be trouble down the road.

With two incomes coming in, one suggestion is to set up a separate savings account, dedicated to household expenses. Agree on the amount you’re each going to put in per pay period. You could do the same for a fun fund.

Your husband may still be reluctant to touch any of the savings, but you can make the argument that this money was put away to be used when needed, without affecting your everyday budget.

life

GF Put Off by BF's Grandson's Nudity

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 10th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We live in the countryside. My neighbors, who are my boyfriend’s son and daughter-in-law, have a 2-year-old boy who is allowed to go about naked.

I am fairly OK with this at their home, but they often bring him over to our home like that. It's not all that appetizing when they are here for dinner. 

I seem to be the only one that this offends. I am of the opinion that the child should wear clothing when away from home. I am sure this situation will solve itself in time and when the weather cools. 

My boyfriend overheard me talking about this while I was on the phone with a friend and became indignant, saying he’s just a baby, and, “What’s the big deal?”

I was just asking her what she thought about this. What are your thoughts on the matter? --- PUT SOME CLOTHES ON

DEAR PUT SOME CLOTHES ON: My first thought is that your boyfriend’s family sees your house as an extension of their own, and may have no clue that you’re offended by their young son’s nudity. However, it’s your home too, and if you would like to make a house rule about guests having at least a pair of pants on, then you should work on that with your boyfriend.

My next thought is about potty training. There is a “bare bottom” method, but if the child isn’t in the process of getting trained, what happens when he has to go? Accidents do happen, and it’s certainly a talking point to consider raising with at least your boyfriend.

life

Timing for a New Puppy Has to Be Right

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 9th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My fiancé and I just bought a house and now we have our own home and a yard, I want to get a puppy, but he thinks it’s too soon and that we’re not home enough to be fair to a new pet. I keep hearing about doggie daycare places not far from here where we could leave a new dog to socialize with other dogs on days when we are going to be out of the house for longer than usual hours.

I think it would be a good experience for us to have a dog. Am I being selfish, like my fiancé seems to think I am? --- WANT A PUPPY TO LOVE

DEAR WANT A PUPPY TO LOVE: If you just moved into a new place, and you have jobs that mean you’ll be out of the house for long periods, getting a high-energy, high-maintenance pet ─ which pretty much sums up puppies ─ may not be the best thing to do at this time in your lives.

If you are set on getting a dog, consider one beyond puppyhood, preferably housebroken and past the more demanding phases that come with the first year or two of most dogs’ lives. Shelters are often full of adult dogs who need a loving home they’re mature enough not to destroy. But keep in mind that every pet needs and deserves time, love, and care, no matter how young or old they are.

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