DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Several of my girlfriend’s friends have recently gotten engaged, and they all were those big, totally planned, very public deals.

I’m ready to ask her too, but I don’t want a public spectacle. I think she is expecting one though. Do I ask her how to ask her, or just go with the private proposal at our favorite park, with just the two of us, like I’ve long thought about whenever I thought of asking her? --- PRIVATE KIND OF GUY

DEAR PRIVATE KIND OF GUY: Just because her friends had the flashy, public affairs doesn’t mean that’s what she wants.

By now, if you’re at the stage of even contemplating asking her to marry you, hopefully you know your girlfriend well enough to be able to gauge what kind of proposal most matches her personality, and go with that ─ whether it’s big and public, or as you always envision it, you two away from it all.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our oldest sister has chosen to get pregnant by way of sperm donation. She says she carefully screened the potential donors and has tried to match our family’s traits and background as much as possible so her baby will fit in with our family.

That the kid might not look like the rest of us isn’t my concern. What my brother, our other sister and I just don’t get is why anyone would opt to be a single parent on purpose. She has seen some of her friends go through breakups and divorces after only a couple years of marriage, and in some cases there are kids involved. She must see how hard it is to be a single parent and whenever we try to tell her this, she shuts us down. Are we right to be worried? --- WORRIED SIBS

DEAR WORRIED SIBS: I appreciate your concern for your sister, but you’ve shared your reservations with her, and if she’s committed to her plan for parenthood, there’s nothing more you can do except support her and your niece and nephew just as you would if she were married, in a committed relationship, or suddenly single. You already know single parenting isn’t easy, so being there for her can be a huge help.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been with my girlfriend for three years, and although my sister only met her briefly two or three times, my sister hates on my girlfriend every chance she gets. I have gotten to the point of not talking to my sister because I’m tired of the ridiculous and totally unfair putdowns of someone she doesn’t even know. How do I get her to lay-off the woman I love? --- GIVE THE WOMAN A CHANCE

DEAR GIVE THE WOMAN A CHANCE: If you’ve already openly confronted your sister with your feelings about how unjust you think she’s being to your girlfriend, and especially if you’ve countered her claims with the truth as you see it, then maybe keeping your distance from your sister is your best bet, at least until she gets the idea that your girlfriend might just be here to stay.