DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our oldest sister has chosen to get pregnant by way of sperm donation. She says she carefully screened the potential donors and has tried to match our family’s traits and background as much as possible so her baby will fit in with our family.

That the kid might not look like the rest of us isn’t my concern. What my brother, our other sister and I just don’t get is why anyone would opt to be a single parent on purpose. She has seen some of her friends go through breakups and divorces after only a couple years of marriage, and in some cases there are kids involved. She must see how hard it is to be a single parent and whenever we try to tell her this, she shuts us down. Are we right to be worried? --- WORRIED SIBS

DEAR WORRIED SIBS: I appreciate your concern for your sister, but you’ve shared your reservations with her, and if she’s committed to her plan for parenthood, there’s nothing more you can do except support her and your niece and nephew just as you would if she were married, in a committed relationship, or suddenly single. You already know single parenting isn’t easy, so being there for her can be a huge help.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been with my girlfriend for three years, and although my sister only met her briefly two or three times, my sister hates on my girlfriend every chance she gets. I have gotten to the point of not talking to my sister because I’m tired of the ridiculous and totally unfair putdowns of someone she doesn’t even know. How do I get her to lay-off the woman I love? --- GIVE THE WOMAN A CHANCE

DEAR GIVE THE WOMAN A CHANCE: If you’ve already openly confronted your sister with your feelings about how unjust you think she’s being to your girlfriend, and especially if you’ve countered her claims with the truth as you see it, then maybe keeping your distance from your sister is your best bet, at least until she gets the idea that your girlfriend might just be here to stay.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our 29-year-old daughter just got engaged to the man she’s been living with for the past two years. We are happy and excited for them. They are planning a big wedding, and although both of them make pretty good money, she thinks they can afford to pay for it all, and we disagree. We don’t want them to start their married life in debt, and we also don’t want to insult them with offers to help foot some of the bills. They are both very proud of their career achievements and their financial independence, but we always planned for paying for at least one of our kids’ weddings, so it’s no big deal for us financially.

Should we risk insulting them, or just let them figure it out by themselves? --- JUST WANT TO HELP

DEAR JUST WANT TO HELP: I don’t see why you shouldn’t throw your offer to help out there to them, just to let them know you’re ready, willing, and able to lend a financial hand. If they say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” respect that. You always have the option of giving them a generous wedding gift that they can apply toward whatever current or future expenses they face as they start their married life together.