life

Drug Use at Work Doesn't Sit Well with Coworker

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 23rd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I honestly don’t care what people do as far as recreational drugs are concerned, provided it doesn’t happen on the job, which is what is going on in my office. So far, I’ve walked in on two different people doing lines in the men’s room.

I don’t know what they’re snorting, and I don’t really care. I just don’t want to happen to be in the bathroom if they get busted by someone else in the office. These guys don’t even bother to lock the door and figure they won’t get caught because the boss is a woman and is usually out of town on travel.

I don’t intend to tell the boss what’s going on, but should I just ignore what I see? --- TO KEEP IT TO MYSELF OR NOT

DEAR TO KEEP IT TO MYSELF OR NOT: Your coworkers’ drug use could put everyone in the office in legal jeopardy, so you need to make your concerns clear to them, not that it may make any difference.

You might find you’re more persuasive if you’re not the only one to approach them. Since it doesn’t sound as if these guys are at all careful about their in-house extracurricular activities, it’s unlikely you’re the only one to know about and be upset by what goes on in the men’s room.

life

Stay-at-Home Mom Feels Guilty About Not Making Money

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 22nd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Before we even got married, my husband and I decided that if we were blessed with children, I would stay home, at least until they were all in school. Now that our youngest is finishing first grade, I feel like I should be making some money, but daycare in our area is crazy expensive, and with four kids needing after-school care and fulltime summer camps, I would have to be making more money than my current skillset would probably earn me, especially after being out of the workforce for 8 years. My husband tells me not to worry, but I do. We need to start saving for college, and while we make enough to cover all our bills and take a nice vacation every couple years, it isn’t enough to put anyone through college.

I guess I just want someone to tell me it’s okay to still be home and not making money, even though the kids are in school all day. --- SAHM IN LIMBO

DEAR SAHM IN LIMBO: Even when the kids are in school all day, there is still plenty to be done around the house and in your community. Volunteering, finding a part-time job that meshes with the kids’ school schedule ─ like substitute teaching, temping, or working in a local business that may be looking for seasonal help ─ are options you could explore.

You could also take the time to brush up on your already existing skills and learn a few new ones by taking classes in fields of interest to you. Investigate free or inexpensive offerings through community colleges and job placement services to keep costs down.

None of these options are likely to fully fund four four-year college educations, but finding something to keep you engaged and contributing financially might lessen your guilt.

life

Husband Feeling Left Out of the Loop

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 21st, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have always been happy my wife and my mother get along really well. Lately, though, I have been feeling left out when I am around them. They seem to have all these conversations I have no idea about, and my mom seems to know more about what goes on in our house than I do.

Is this kind of thing normal for a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law to be so close? --- FEELING LEFT OUT

DEAR FEELING LEFT OUT: It may not be the rule, but it’s certainly common enough, and decidely preferable to the unfortunate alternative of the two women in your life not getting along at all.

In your case, since it’s bothering you, it’s worth mentioning to the ladies that you’re feeling excluded. It’s possible they have no idea that their closeness is affecting you adversely.

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