DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My boyfriend’s father died six years ago, and ever since that time he’s taken on being the man of the house. That was back when he was finishing up high school, and because he didn’t want to be too far from home, he commuted to college and even took a job paying way less than he could have made if he moved to a bigger city, all to stay near his mom.

When we started dating almost two years ago, I thought it was kind of sweet that he wanted to be so helpful to his mom. Now I think it’s kind of weird. She is a super sweet woman and never demands anything from my boyfriend. I don’t think she’s the problem. I think he is just over-protective, and it’s begun to bother me more now that I am expecting our first baby this fall. I worry he’ll keep putting his mother first, even when I think he should put his own family first.

I don’t want to come between him and his mom, but the longer we are together, the more he seems to take me for granted so he can go do stuff for his mother. Is this normal or some kind of mother fixation? --- IS HE A MAMA’S BOY?

DEAR IS HE A MAMA’S BOY: Often a son or daughter who loses one parent becomes protective of the survivor, and from what you wrote, your boyfriend continues to see himself as the man of his mom’s house, even though he’s starting a family of his own. He may be feeling worried and guilty about his not being as available to his mom once he becomes a father.

You need to speak with him about your concerns. Since you said his mom isn’t making demands on him, make your own expectations of him as a partner and a father clear, letting him know you value how dedicated he is to helping his mom, but that you also need to know he’s there for you and your baby.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been seeing “Jerry” for a few months and I find myself getting more and more attracted and attached to him. He comes from a background that doesn’t include any formal religious practices, and I come from a strong faith-based home. I have no problem with Jerry doing ─ or not doing ─ his own thing religiously, because I am firm enough in my faith to be comfortable with his choices. But I haven’t yet told him how much following my faith means to me. I am afraid he’ll think I am some kind of religious fanatic.

Do I keep it to myself, or risk sharing my beliefs with him? --- SECURE IN FAITH

DEAR SECURE IN FAITH: Since you haven’t mentioned your commitment to your faith in the months you’ve been seeing “Jerry”, it’s quite possible he’ll simply accept it as part of the package he’s been getting to know.

Because your faith is so central to you, it’s only a matter of time before he becomes aware of it ─ if he isn’t already ─ and it isn’t fair to either of you to hide an important part of who you are. Such concealments can lead to misunderstandings and resentment over time. Give him some credit for being as open-minded as you are, and remember it isn’t at all unusual for successful couples to have different views on religion.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We bought our first house three years ago, and right after we unpacked and set the house up, my husband started fussing with the yardwork. He’s up early every Saturday morning and doesn’t get done until late in the afternoon. Honestly, the yard does look awesome, but I don’t get what he’s doing all that time. Besides, it makes it hard for us to do anything else during the Saturdays from April through October.

Do you think his “hobby” as he calls it is a healthy one? --- THE GARDNER’S WIFE

DEAR THE GARDNER’S WIFE: We all need hobbies, and I can think of a lot less healthy and productive ones than spending a few hours a week keeping your property looking good, at least at ground level. I know many people who find it therapeutic to work outdoors, especially if they are inside for their jobs all week long.

While your husband is busy doing his thing, you should take advantage of the time to also get busy with pursuits or projects of your own.