life

Bitter Neighbors Keep Old Grudge Alive

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 7th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife’s parents moved to a house they built for their retirement right around the time we started looking for a new home. They offered it to us, and it was a really good deal. The house needs some work to get it more in our style, but the real problem is the neighbors who apparently hated my wife since she was a kid, and now are doing everything they can to make it unpleasant for us.

So far, they’ve “accidentally” knocked over our mailbox, put their trashcan half on-half off the curb so that it spills over onto our driveway, and repeatedly claimed they had no idea their dog got out of the house, just long enough to dig up what we planted (and then replanted) in the back yard.

My wife tells me the reason for the grudge is that she broke up with their son in high school, and have been cold to her whole family ever since, but this is ridiculous. I don’t want to have to call the cops, but I’m beginning to think that’s what it will take to get these people to back off. I’ve tried talking to them, but they cold shoulder me too. What else can we do? --- LIVING NEXT DOOR TO THE NEIGHBORS FROM HELL

DEAR LIVING NEXT DOOR: Since talking to them doesn’t seem to be an option, start keeping records of suspected transgressions. Take photos and mark down the date, time, and as much detail as you can, including any actions you and your wife take in response to the incidents.

If you have one, try reaching out to your homeowner’s association to see if they have arbitration services. In the case of property damage or unrestrained dogs, you could contact the local police department non-emergency services or animal control.

There may not be much the authorities can do, but at least you’ll be putting your neighbors on notice that you’re not going to take their aggressions lightly.

life

Postpartum Body Turns Husband Off

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 2nd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Since I had our second baby last fall, I haven’t been able to lose the “baby fat” I gained during the pregnancy, like I did with our son. I’ve talked to my doctor about it and she wants to run some tests to make sure everything, like my thyroid, is okay.

I’m not loving my body, but the bigger problem is, neither is my husband. He hasn’t made a move in months now, and it hurts to think it’s because of my extra weight. I don’t want him to think I’m just imagining it, because I know I’m not. Do I say something now or wait to see what the medical tests show? --- MISS MY BODY

DEAR MISS MY BODY: It’s good you’re getting medical advice on why this postpartum recovery is so different than what you experienced with your first baby. Each pregnancy takes a toll on a woman’s body, and now that you have two children to care for, taking care of yourself becomes even more challenging.

By all means, talk to your husband about what you’re feeling. It’s possible his lack of sexual attentions may also be the result of a more demanding family life, or the problem could be completely unrelated to what you think is causing it, and he doesn’t want to add to your stress right now.

life

Thieving Grandkids Take Advantage of Grandparents

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | May 1st, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We have three grandsons and a granddaughter. My wife and I have always gotten along well with them, until lately. One of the boys and his sister have started taking things from our house when they visit. They must think we don’t know, but it’s hard to ignore things going missing almost every time they drop in.

Their parents have been having a rough time with their jobs, and I hate to pile this on them too, but don’t you agree it’s time to bring them into it? My wife thinks we should just take care of it ourselves, but I don’t think that’s enough? --- GETTING PICKED CLEAN

DEAR GETTING PICKED CLEAN: I agree with your wife that you need to confront your grandkids directly with what you believe they’re doing. I also agree with you that their parents need to be told what’s been happening. Their job situations may be behind what the kids behavior, but whatever the cause, something isn’t right when grandkids steal from their grandparents.

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