life

Roommate Who Lost Job Hasn't Told Roomie Yet

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | April 23rd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My company cut my job two weeks ago. I had been with them long enough to get three month’s severance pay and once that runs out, if I haven’t found another job, I will apply for unemployment.

Between those two things and my being really careful with my spending, I should be able to continue paying my share of the expenses in the apartment I share with another woman. The thing is, we are not at all that close, and I have not told her about my losing my job yet. I don’t want her to panic about the rent and everything, especially since I can cover those things.

Is there anything wrong with not telling her? We hardly see each other when I’m working, so I don’t know how much it really matters? --- OUT OF WORK, NOT CASH

DEAR OUT OF WORK, NOT CASH: If your living arrangement is a strictly business one, then there’s less reason to share details of your life with your roommate. However, if it looks like your time unemployed will drain you to the point of not being able to uphold your share of expenses, you should let her know your situation so she can decide what she needs or wants to do to protect herself financially.

life

When's the Right Time to Ask a Widow Out?

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | April 18th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: There is a woman on my bowling team, not much older than me, who lost her husband just over a year ago. They got married right out of college, and after a couple of years, he went into a deep depression and ended up killing himself. I wasn’t on the team when all this happened, but I’ve heard the story from the other people we bowl with.

I really like this woman, but am nervous about making any moves. It’s only been a year since she went through all that, and I don’t want to blow any chance I might have with her by asking her out too soon. Is it too soon? --- WORRIED ABOUT TIMING

DEAR WORRIED ABOUT TIMING: Losing a spouse is one of life’s biggest traumas, no matter when it happens, losing any loved one to suicide is a particularly cruel blow.

If you’re not aware of the woman’s being at all inclined to start dating again, I wouldn’t push the issue. She may be more in need of friends than romantic relationships while she deals with her grief.

life

New Mom Chews Out Grandparents Over Car Safety

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | April 17th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I love my grandparents, and I want them to be part of my baby’s life, but when I went to pick my six-month-old son up at their house after they watched him for me so my husband and I could finally have a nice, quiet lunch together outside of our house, I found out that my grandparents took our son to the park in their car, with my grandmother holding him in her arms.

I went nuts and told them they are never going to be left alone with our baby again. Wasn’t I right? I feel guilty, but still . . . --- CAN’T TRUST MY GRANDPARENTS

DEAR CAN’T TRUST MY GRANDPARENTS: My question to you is, did you leave the car seat with your grandparents, after instructing them in its proper use?

I completely understand your being upset, but a little training, or retraining, can go a long way in a world where the standards and tools of safety keep changing every few years.

And, since you clearly have some confidence in their ability to take care of your baby, help them understand what your expectations are during the times he’s in their care.

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