DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: There is a woman on my bowling team, not much older than me, who lost her husband just over a year ago. They got married right out of college, and after a couple of years, he went into a deep depression and ended up killing himself. I wasn’t on the team when all this happened, but I’ve heard the story from the other people we bowl with.

I really like this woman, but am nervous about making any moves. It’s only been a year since she went through all that, and I don’t want to blow any chance I might have with her by asking her out too soon. Is it too soon? --- WORRIED ABOUT TIMING

DEAR WORRIED ABOUT TIMING: Losing a spouse is one of life’s biggest traumas, no matter when it happens, losing any loved one to suicide is a particularly cruel blow.

If you’re not aware of the woman’s being at all inclined to start dating again, I wouldn’t push the issue. She may be more in need of friends than romantic relationships while she deals with her grief.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I love my grandparents, and I want them to be part of my baby’s life, but when I went to pick my six-month-old son up at their house after they watched him for me so my husband and I could finally have a nice, quiet lunch together outside of our house, I found out that my grandparents took our son to the park in their car, with my grandmother holding him in her arms.

I went nuts and told them they are never going to be left alone with our baby again. Wasn’t I right? I feel guilty, but still . . . --- CAN’T TRUST MY GRANDPARENTS

DEAR CAN’T TRUST MY GRANDPARENTS: My question to you is, did you leave the car seat with your grandparents, after instructing them in its proper use?

I completely understand your being upset, but a little training, or retraining, can go a long way in a world where the standards and tools of safety keep changing every few years.

And, since you clearly have some confidence in their ability to take care of your baby, help them understand what your expectations are during the times he’s in their care.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and I recently came into some money when her unmarried uncle passed away. It isn’t a ton of money, but it’s enough to help us get a jump on a serious savings program. She wants to put it all in a college fund for our toddler, I want to start a retirement fund to supplement what we’ve got through our jobs. We’re getting mixed advice from our own parents, and that’s just making it worse. Where would you put the money? --- SAVING FOR THE FUTURE

DEAR SAVING FOR THE FUTURE: Where I’d put the money these days is into retirement savings, but I’m a lot closer to that time of life than you and your wife.

The good news is that since neither of you is looking to spend the money right away, at least you’re both on the same page about the value of planning for the future. Putting your money in college funds or IRAs are both good ideas, but come with restrictions on accessing what you deposit into them, which may prevent your using any of the funds in case of a financial emergency.

Rather than putting all the money in one place, consider dividing it between carefully investigated options. Your bank should be able to give you some guidance, and offer shorter-term investments like CDs or money market accounts where your windfall can earn interest while you decide what to do with it for the longer haul.