DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom and dad are very old world. They came to this country from India when they were first married, nearly 35 years ago. I remember all the times when I was growing up their parents would fly to the U.S. and end up staying with us for a month or two at least, and my folks were completely cool with it.

Now that my wife and I have our own family, my parents, who only live a about six hours away, come for at least three visits a year, and after my dad goes back so he can get back to work after a few days, my mom, who has always been a housewife, remains for nearly a month.

My wife, who works from home so she can be with the kids, never says anything, but it drives me nuts having my mom hanging around so much. I enjoy having the house to just my own family, and when Mom’s here, it seems like we have a guest that needs to be entertained. Would I be wrong to ask my mother to cut her visits shorter in the future? --- SON OF A HOUSEGUEST

DEAR SON OF A HOUSEGUEST: Your mom is just following the traditions she grew up with and raised you by. It isn’t at all uncommon for family from far away to make long visits, especially if the trip is costly.

Since we’re not talking about a great distance here, you might suggest to your mom that it would really work out better if she perhaps visited more often, but for shorter periods of time.

However, before you do that, I think you should speak to your wife about it. Since she isn’t expressing objections to the visits, and she’s the one home more of the time than you are, you should ask her if she finds it a help or a hinderance having your mom around.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I started my current job, I had a really good feeling about it that it would be something I would want to do for a long time.

Now that I have learned everything I can expect to learn from it, I am beginning to hate the job. There is nowhere else in my company I could go, and I am beginning to feel like I made a bad choice when I took it.

I have only been here for less than nine months, but I feel like I need to make a change.

How long do I have to stay with a job I hate to keep me from looking like a job-jumper? --- SCARED TO JUMP

DEAR SCARED TO JUMP: Without knowing how many other jobs you’ve had, or how long you’ve stayed with them, it’s hard to say if you come off as a job jumper. It’s unfortunate that this one isn’t working out for you, but that happens.

If you truly feel you’ve done all you can with your current job, and that you’ve hit a dead end, you could start looking around, but don’t expect to land a perfect job next time. Try to find something with growth potential for your sake ─ and that of the employers who will be investing in you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Since fourth grade “G” has been my best friend. We even roomed together during a study abroad semester.

I know there are things that drive her crazy that I do, but for me, I am having a harder and harder time with how she always has to be or do one better than me. If I spend $60 on a dress, she goes out and gets nearly the same one for $40. When she heard my boyfriend is now the manager of his department, suddenly her boyfriend is a vice president.

It just goes on and on and I usually let it pass, but I nearly snapped last week when she started in on how much more generous her boyfriend is than mine, how he gives her jewelry and takes her out to big expensive dinners, when she knows my boyfriend doesn’t make that much, but I know he treats me well.

I need suggestions on how to shut her down without playing her game. --- CAN’T COMPETE

DEAR CAN’T COMPETE: Your friend sounds insecure, which is most likely where her competitiveness comes from. And, you already realize it’s too easy to get pulled into her game of one-upmanship.

My suggestion would be to continue to let it roll off you, as you’ve successfully been doing all along. Accept she needs to feel she’s one step ahead, but assure her you’re well-satisfied with how things are in your world.