DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: It always annoyed me when my mother or mother-in-law would offer unasked for opinions on how I raised my kids. Because of that I have a no interference policy with my own daughter, whose children are three and nearly seven.

The younger girl is still sweet, but her big sister is another story. She cusses and yells at her parents and at my husband and me, and at pretty much anyone else she feels like treating that way. Her baby sister watches it all and has started trying the same behavior out for herself.

Neither my daughter nor son-in-law do anything to stop this behavior, they seem to think it’s just a phase and ignore it. When we have the kids at our house, my husband and I try to establish rules, with mixed results.

For the sake of our grandchildren, do you think I should break my butt out policy and say something to my daughter? --- TROUBLED GRANDMA

DEAR TROUBLED GRANDMA: As you already well know, sometimes the hardest part about being a mother is knowing when to open your mouth and when to keep it shut.

While it’s certainly your daughter’s job to raise her own kids, I think you need to mention to her your concerns that the way your older granddaughter acts ─ “just a phase” or not ─ is rubbing off on her little sister, who’s old enough to follow the leader, no matter what example that leader is setting.

That you have set rules for behavior in your own home or when you’re taking care of your grandchildren is a good thing, and might help them understand there are indeed limits and expectations they need to respect.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: There’s a guy in my dorm who I like. He seems pretty sweet, but he hangs with a couple of wild guys who party way more than I like to.

I’m a junior and this is the first time I could actually get away on spring break, and this guy I’m crushing on has asked me if I want to go with him and his buds to Florida on break. I want to spend time with the guy but not his friends, who are trouble. How do I tell him it’s him, not his friends I want to hang out with? --- LIKE THE GUY, NOT HIS FRIENDS

DEAR LIKE THE GUY: Unless you have reason to believe the trip would be more about you and the guy having time together, rather than you just being part of a partying caravan, I’d say take a pass on this one. It will be too easy for your crush to get caught-up in the inevitable shenanigans and it doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re normally into.

It’s not easy getting to know someone as part of a crowd. Instead, find another way to spend some one-to-one time with him, so you can figure if he’s right for you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was married and divorced by the time I was 22. My first husband was a weirdo who never wanted to do anything with me outside our apartment. I was so happy to find a nice, normal guy the next time out.

My second husband and I got married a year ago and things are going pretty well. My biggest complaint is that he wants to do everything I do ─ all the time. Except for getting out with the girls a couple times a month, he expects us to be together whenever we’re not at work. It’s like I’ve gone from one extreme to the other and I need some time to myself, and I think he needs some hobbies of his own. Am I wrong to want to do my own thing? My first husband never did anything but what he wanted to do, and look how that turned out. --- WIFE OF A TAG-ALONG

DEAR WIFE OF A TAG-ALONG: Your new husband may be under the impression that given the behavior of your ex, he is giving you what you want by being always available and at your side; but not many couples can survive very long if they don’t leave each other at least a little space. There’s a big difference between doing everything together and never doing the same things at all.

I agree your husband would most likely benefit from finding and following some pursuits of his own. Encourage him to develop his own pastimes and leave you to the ones you enjoy ─ without him along for the ride.