DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When our son graduated from high school last year, he decided to take a year off from school, earn some money, and then go on to college. He had decent grades throughout high school and earned credits for three AP classes.

We told him we would help him out with his expenses when he heads to college this fall, but he would have to come up with most of the funding himself, through savings and loans. We also asked he not chose a school too far away that would involve plane fare to get to and from, as that would be an additional expense. He has chosen a very common major that is offered at most schools, so he had a large choice of colleges within driving distance to apply to.

Well, he decided to go to school on the West Coast. We live in Massachusetts. He tells us he wants to experience life in another part of the country and assures us he can afford it. We told him since he picked a school so far away, against our wishes, we won’t help him like we said we would. Why should we? --- EAST COAST PARENTS

DEAR EAST COAST PARENTS: I get your disappointment. It isn’t easy having your kids so far from home. But I also think you should honor your original offer of support to the extent you would have provided if he’d chosen to stay closer to home. Just be sure you make the limits of your contributions clear. Your son made his choice. Now it’s his job to make it work.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I swear my mom is an HGTV addict. She is constantly changing things in her own home, which is fine. But then she comes over to my brother’s and my homes and tries to do them over every few months.

Some of the ideas she has make sense and have made things look nicer than I could have done, but I want to live in my own home, my own way. How do I tell her enough is enough? --- OVER MAKING OVER

DEAR OVER MAKING OVER: It’s time you level with your mom and let her know you appreciate what she’s done to gussy up your home, but that you’re at a point where you want to explore your own style.

If that doesn’t work, offer to help her on a few of her home improvement projects at her place, so you can redirect her energy and creativity back where you feel it belongs.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Every year, since we’ve been together, my husband gets me some sexy lingerie for Valentine’s Day. I suppose it’s a sweet gesture, but I can’t help wondering who it’s really for, him or me? --- JUST WONDERING

DEAR JUST WONDERING: If you both enjoy the gift, does it really matter?

Maybe your husband is trying to treat you to something he knows you might not splurge on for yourself, but that makes you feel attractive. It could also be his shorthand way of reminding you how sexy he thinks you are.

Whatever the motive, say, “Thank you,” and enjoy.