life

Mom’s Hearing Becoming a Problem

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 29th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I really believe my mom is losing her hearing. She just turned 63 and everyone in the family has had issues with what’s gotten lost in translation when talking with her. We keep trying to convince her it’s time to get her hearing checked, but she won’t do anything about it. I don’t get why she doesn’t want to help herself. What more can we do to help her? --- MY MOM IS DEAF TO GOING DEAF

DEAR MY MOM IS DEAF TO GOING DEAF: I don’t know anyone who’s happy to think of losing the things we do as we age, and it’s natural to pretend we’re physically better-off than we are. Denial is a strong placebo, but it’s just that, a placebo.

Your mom might be more responsive if the suggestion to get her hearing checked came from someone outside the family. Maybe an old friend, someone who’s inclined to be more empathetic towards her situation, could be induced to talk to her, especially if that friend has also noticed a decline in your mother’s hearing.

life

Road Goes Two Ways in Long Distance Relationship

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 24th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: While I’m finishing my master’s program, my fiancé and I have been doing the long-distance thing. He works about 100 miles from my school, in the town I’m going to move to once I graduate this spring.

We try to spend every other weekend together, and for all of last semester, he kept asking me to do the drive down to his place, which isn’t so bad if I don’t have a lot of work to do or a big exam coming up the day after I get back. He says it’s easier for me to make the trip because I get out of class earlier than he gets out of work, but I’m beginning to feel stressed about the time I’m losing when I could be studying, not driving.

Don’t you think he needs to make more of an effort in making the trip to me? --- ONE-WAY ROAD WARRIOR

DEAR ONE-WAY ROAD WARRIOR: Yes, I agree you two should be splitting the travelling equally. If he’s not game for putting in his fair share of driving, the simplest solution is that you spread out your visits more, especially if a designated visit weekend falls during a busy time for you.

You’re in the homestretch for earning your degree, and that’s where your focus needs to be. Hopefully your future husband will recognize this and support you in doing what you need to do to succeed. If not, you guys have some real issues to work out before you get married.

life

Wife and Sisters-in-Law Are Too Tight for Husband’s Own Good

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 23rd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am happy my wife is getting to be close friends with my two sisters, but sometimes it feels like they’re all ganging up on me. Whenever they’re together, they are all quick to point out anything I do wrong and keep coming up with ways to fix what they think is wrong with me.

Is it best to ignore it all or do I say something? --- FEELING BEAT UP

DEAR FEELING BEAT UP: Ignoring something in the hope that it will go away is not always the soundest tactic ─ especially if it’s so clearly upsetting you. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, it’s possible they may not realize their behavior is becoming such a problem from your point of view.

Starting with your wife, and trying not to sound whiny, you need to let each of the ladies know you don’t appreciate their three against one sessions. And, until you have a sense of whether or not your message is getting through, try to avoid putting yourself in situations that give them the chance to collectively launch another session of New Husband Makeover.

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