life

Road Goes Two Ways in Long Distance Relationship

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 24th, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: While I’m finishing my master’s program, my fiancé and I have been doing the long-distance thing. He works about 100 miles from my school, in the town I’m going to move to once I graduate this spring.

We try to spend every other weekend together, and for all of last semester, he kept asking me to do the drive down to his place, which isn’t so bad if I don’t have a lot of work to do or a big exam coming up the day after I get back. He says it’s easier for me to make the trip because I get out of class earlier than he gets out of work, but I’m beginning to feel stressed about the time I’m losing when I could be studying, not driving.

Don’t you think he needs to make more of an effort in making the trip to me? --- ONE-WAY ROAD WARRIOR

DEAR ONE-WAY ROAD WARRIOR: Yes, I agree you two should be splitting the travelling equally. If he’s not game for putting in his fair share of driving, the simplest solution is that you spread out your visits more, especially if a designated visit weekend falls during a busy time for you.

You’re in the homestretch for earning your degree, and that’s where your focus needs to be. Hopefully your future husband will recognize this and support you in doing what you need to do to succeed. If not, you guys have some real issues to work out before you get married.

life

Wife and Sisters-in-Law Are Too Tight for Husband’s Own Good

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 23rd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am happy my wife is getting to be close friends with my two sisters, but sometimes it feels like they’re all ganging up on me. Whenever they’re together, they are all quick to point out anything I do wrong and keep coming up with ways to fix what they think is wrong with me.

Is it best to ignore it all or do I say something? --- FEELING BEAT UP

DEAR FEELING BEAT UP: Ignoring something in the hope that it will go away is not always the soundest tactic ─ especially if it’s so clearly upsetting you. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, it’s possible they may not realize their behavior is becoming such a problem from your point of view.

Starting with your wife, and trying not to sound whiny, you need to let each of the ladies know you don’t appreciate their three against one sessions. And, until you have a sense of whether or not your message is getting through, try to avoid putting yourself in situations that give them the chance to collectively launch another session of New Husband Makeover.

life

Dad Fears Son Has Too Many Tats for His Own Good

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | January 22nd, 2019

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have never complained out loud to my son about what he chooses to do to his body. He has had his ears, nose, and even, for a while, his tongue pierced. A couple years ago he started getting tattoos, which I used to think was kind of cool, but now he has so many, he can no longer cover them with a long-sleeved shirt and I worry about his employment potential. The piercings can be removed when he goes for interviews, but the vine tat that comes all the way up his neck and the vein traces on his hands can’t.

He graduates this May from college and he needs to get something that pays enough to support himself. He tells me it’s no longer a big deal to have tattoos, but I’m thinking he may be underestimating their effect. Am I worrying for nothing? --- DAD OF THE TATTOOED MAN

DEAR DAD OF THE TATTOOED MAN: You might be, or, you might not. Given how ubiquitous body art has become, your son may not have a difficult time making a living because of his.

However, in spite of a quickly growing acceptance, some professions and fields (including military, law enforcement, legal or finance firms, healthcare, to name a few) still generally have restrictions against visible tattoos and certain piercings.

If your son’s looking at more conservative employers, suggest to him that, when possible, before an interview he should explore a company’s policy on tattoos and piercings to avoid any surprises.

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