life

Nasty Client Hard to Deal With

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | December 13th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work at a temp-to-hire placement agency. Most of my clients are easy to work with, but there is one man who, no matter how much I bend over backwards to get him placed, he either is a no-show or lasts a day or two. That sometimes happens with other clients, but what makes it different with this man is that he blames me for everything that goes wrong.

No one else in the agency will take him on, and our boss has the philosophy that short of an ax murderer, we should be able to get at least temp work for everyone who walks in the door.

I don’t want to keep representing this man, because not only does he give me grief, but it doesn’t look good for the agency or me with the companies where I try to place him. I have to do something, but I’m afraid to approach my boss and don’t know what else to do. --- TIRED OF MR. NEGATIVE

DEAR TIRED OF MR. NEGATIVE: I’d imagine this is not a totally atypical situation for any employment agency, and if you’re going to stay in the field, you’re going to need to develop some tools for working with the less pleasant clients.

If you’re reluctant to talk to your boss, are there any more experienced coworkers you’re comfortable going to for advice? If not, you may be stuck going to the top. It sounds like this client is a known commodity. Even if your boss refuses to “fire” him, perhaps he/she can help guide you in what to do in his case.

life

Finding New Traditions After Losing Old Ones

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | December 12th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: This is the first year without my father around, and he was always the driving force of all the family’s holiday celebrations. My mom died a few years ago, so he really kicked things up after that. My siblings and I all live not far from the home where we grew up, and now that it’s been sold, no one is exactly volunteering to take over hosting like our parents did. Honestly, I just feel like getting out of town, but I feel weird and a little guilty about that. Should I? --- LOST FOR THE HOLIDAYS

DEAR LOST FOR THE HOLIDAYS: I’m sorry for your loss, and understand how such changes in the family translate to changes in traditions. That’s why I think it’s absolutely fine for you to begin making new traditions of your own, and if doing a little travelling is something you believe you would enjoy, then go for it.

Depending on their situations, you might even consider sharing your plans with your siblings to see if any of them might want to join you in your destination holiday.

life

Going Dutch Goes Too Far

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | December 11th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am with a woman who always insists on paying her part of any date we’re on. At first, I didn’t have a problem with it, but now that we’re getting deeper into the relationship, I sometimes find it bothers me that she is so adamant about keeping it all separate. There are times I would like to treat her, because I think it’s okay to do something nice for someone you care about.

Am I wrong to be bothered by her reluctance to let me treat once in a while? --- JUST WANT TO TREAT SOMETIMES

DEAR JUST WANT TO TREAT SOMETIMES: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to treat once in a while. But there are also many people who fear feeling obligated to another person financially, or that someone is trying to buy their affections or exert control by always picking up the tab.

It’s time you mention your concerns openly to her. It would give her an opportunity to share her motives for keeping it Dutch. Depending on her response, you might suggest doing a switch-off ─ you pay for the movie one time and dinner the next, and vice versa so that you’re both contributing, but also opening the door to an occasional treat by one or the other of you.

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